News T Shirts

News T Shirts: As soon as the news hits tees get designed in this day and age. I try to keep up with the big news shirts here.

Only the winners survive. This isn’t the Adonis DNA training camp t shirt. This is the Tiger Blood Training Camp T Shirt. You have to bring your A game just to make it into the camp. Sheen is going to be there with his intense focus, and he’ll be watching every entrant, and if you don’t measure up, if your not buzzing on a higher frequency then you are not going to make it. Sheen is going to have one of his girlfriends, or Sean Penn, or Colin Farrel or Mel Gibson, escort you off the premises. Then where will you be. With all of the other schlubs that are not winning and just living vicariously through the real winners.

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Charlie Sheen has been spectacular and you gotta give him his props. He gets up early and gets the workout done. He spends time with the kids. He brings home the bacon. Highest paid TV show actor per episode ever and now he gets paid for sponsored Twitter tweets. And, of course, he parties hard with the drugs. Finally, he copulates with two young hotties nightly. Actually, I’m not sure I’m calling them hotties. I’ll ask you my fine readership. Are Sheen’s live in girlfriends hotties?

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Sheen has quite a team developing. I think people are half celebrating that he’s gone bat shit crazy and is willing to display that in its full glory on TV, and half celebrating that he’s opening the curtain a true rock star party lifestyle replete with drugs and broads. Whatever it is, it’s compelling and has captured the public imagination. Some people say they won’t feed off this any more because it’s taking advantage of a mental illness. Others say, this is a public figure and he’s putting himself out there, so have at it. I think I’m probably in the second camp, especially since I think Charlie has pumped a little gas into the thing, meaning he’s hamming it up for the camera.

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I just posted a collection of the best funny Charlie Sheen T Shirts. If you’re into capturing the magic of modern times. If you’re an archivist of sorts and want to remember when Mr. Sheen’s comet shone most brightly, then you must consider purchasing one of these fine tees. Do it for the children and history.

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Charlie Sheen’s IMDB page? There’s some good work in there. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Major League, Platoon, Wall Street., Due Date, Eight Men Out,  were pretty good movies. I’m not into the spoofs or TV. I hear 2 and a Half Men was doodoo, and that’s kind of the spring board for this Sheen phenomenon that’s exploded across the Internet and TV.

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Charlie Sheen got his name in the Guinness Book of World Records for a second time recently, when he started a Twitter account and got to 1 million followers in 25 hours and 17 minutes. This is the first entry in the GBOWR for this feat. Mr. Sheen is also in the Book for being the highest paid TV actor per episode of all time. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that the man is a winner!

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Ah yes. Major League. I actually kind of liked that movie as stupid as it was, and, of course, the highlight of the thing was Charlie Sheen’s character Rick Vaughn, who was the closer that had a monstrously wild rocket arm, the horned-rim glasses, the wild hair cut, and, of course, Wild Thing entrance music. He ended up taming it enough to get some people out so the Indians could make a run to the World Series. Heart warming. Plus, the hot owner chick lost a piece of clothing from her life-sized cardboard cutout the closer they got to winning the pennant, which is also quite a warm and fuzzy storyline.

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Nice wordplay. For the uninitiated — and that’s no shame, especially now that you are here and bettering yourself — this is a play on Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy, which is a common thread among the hip hop, and rap community, because it really is not. You have to find good hos. You have to keep those hos workin’ for you, and by workin’ I mean givin’ seedy, sweaty, fat duds handies next to the smelly dumpster in the darkest alley. You have to hit some hos when they start to get out of line. You have to work some of the clientele that is slow to pay. You have to maintain an exquisite wardrobe, including keeping your hat at a perfect tilt.

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Ted Williams, not the old Red Sox player with his head frozen in a cryogenic crypt, but the homeless dude with the golden, cheesy radio voice, has turned into a viral sensation. Obviously. I mean he now has a shirt on Donkey Tees, which is pretty much the sign that you have hit red on the buzz meter.

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Happy New Year’s Eve!

Okay, let’s go down the list from Pew Research Center Publications to start this 2010 featured story list to put this year to rest.

Earthquake in Haiti
Hmmm, I’m thinking there’s not much to joke about here, thus, there was not a lot of t shirts pumped out. Maybe something about Wyclef Jean trying to be president should be printed, but I haven’t seen it.

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This was one of the top stories of the year, and this Chilean Mining Company T Shirt is a solid commemorative piece to remember the triumph of the human spirit (and United States’ superior technological advances) in 2010. Despite all the economic turmoil, environmental devastation, natural disasters and general malaise, there were sparks of hope, including the brave miners that had to smell each others BO and ass stench for more than two months.

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RIP Captain Beefheart

by on December 18, 2010

Nothing real funny about this. Don Van Vliet died after struggling with Multiple Sclerosis for years. Dude’s music was fucking incredible. Actually, did the first music video, which now sits in the Museum of Modern Art. He was a sculptor from age 5. Dude did it on his own terms. Put out amazing amount of material. Took blues to another psycho-beat, babble level. Really did the thing. Blazed the trail.

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