Local Celebrity

Local Celebrity: I’ve always liked the name of this t-shirt outfit. It reminds of corny car dealership commercials for some reason.

im-here-on-business-t-shirtYou know what I’m talking about when I’m sayin’ “business.” Right? You know. If you don’t you’ll just shrug your shoulders, if you do you’ll take me to the back booth and show me what needs to be shown and tell me what needs to be told. And, we’ll shake hands, I’ll point meaningfully in your direction as I get up. And we’ll keep in touch:

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wanna-go-make-out-in-my-porsche-tshirtI gotta tell you this line always works. Back in the day, I was one of the lucky few that could use it and I swear to the good lord above that I was batting over .750 with it. Oh wait, I thought that said wear make up on the porch. Never mind.

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I Love Boombox T Shirt

by on January 25, 2009

i-love-boombox-tshirtPaying homage to the electronical gear that came before. Standing on the shoulders of the giants. Celebrating the old and musty cultural used-to-be zeitgeist.

Bring on the NOIZE with this bad boom box, ghetto blaster. On the shoulder, in the ear, Eazy-E comin’ through shakin’ my aviator shades. Booyah.

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poker-anonymous-i-bet-i-can-quit-tshirtNow, see this is like a trick question, because this person could probably easily quit poker, as long as he has the horses and a direct line to the sports book at The Mirage, and perhaps some dice and maybe any little bet scenario, like whether or not the fat kid is going to pick his nose before he gets picked up by his mom.

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bank-robbers-never-get-cold-tshirtAs you stand on the precipice of a new year, reflecting on the ups and downs of 2008, and perhaps resolving to improve in some area in 2009, don’t ever forget this truism, which will carry you through thick and thin.

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ive-got-black-belt-in-keepin-it-real-tshirtIt comes down to bein’ yourself. Doing what your heart tells you to do. Not takin’ it from the man. Takin’ it to the stage or the street. Speakin’ troof. And, of course, keepin’ it real. I actually can’t wear this tshirt yet, because I only have a green belt in keepin’ it real, but I go to the dojo of realness daily workin’ on my skills.

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