Headline Shirts is wildly awesome

Headline Shirts is the best in the business at delivering absurd, entertaining and hilarious tees. You definitely want to check out these reviews.

Or you might want to take a look at the top 22 Headline Shirts according to me.

Decaf T Shirt

by on May 23, 2012

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Hey you crazy coffee fiend. Actually, if you’re a decaf person, then I don’t know what to say. What’s the point? Drink some water and get on with your day. I just never got into the coffee thing, which is probably why I’m living in my mother’s basement at age 41 and no one is reading this. Maybe I need to grow up and drink some coffee and get ahead in life. Of course, I don’t think Decaf has that effect. I think I’m still in the basement even after six months of decaf.

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Time to name the rockstars on this Rockstar Glasses T Shirt.

1957 – Buddy Holly
1965 – Bob Dylan
1969 – John Lennon
1970 – Elvis
1973 – Elton John
1974 – Jerry Garcia
1977 – Elvis Costello?
1984 – Michael Jackson
1988 – D.M.C.
1993 – Kurt Cobain
2007 – Kanye West
2012 – Your mom (JK)…Lady Gaga

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Available in Men’s and Women’s Sizes.

Nice work with the Kill Bill jump suit and sword and the 8-bit pixelly look. Of course, the word kung fu makes me laugh no matter what. I think it’s the way the word looks on screen and the way my tongue moves when I say it. Or something. Maybe it’s the chop chop movies where the baddest asses have strong kung fu that makes me smile with their dubbed voices and cartoon punch noises.

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Get on over to Headline Shirts and take advantage of a super Mother’s Day deal. All women’s tees are $13 through Mother’s Day. Your mother will love the Headline Shirts catalog. She’ll be so touched she’ll cry when she opens that That Shit Cray shirt, or maybe the 420 Canadian Maple Leaf, or how about 3D Cock. She’ll love ’em all, and you’ll be able to afford a variety at this price.

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Available in Men’s and Women’s Sizes.

I feel like I need to go to Wikipedia and figure out what Teddy Roosevelt was all about, otherwise I’m not sure I’ll have a lot to write about regarding this whacky 3D Roosevelt T Shirt.

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Available in Men’s and Women’s Sizes.

I love the direction Headline Shirts is going with this I’d Like to Buy Some Drugs T Shirt. It’s supra funny, because the phrasing sounds so corny and stilted. It’s a perfect way to portray a narc or mole at a party. They’re trying to find the dealer. They’re trying to fit in. They’re asking around. One tip to make it seem more natural man with the wire on his chest: ask for the drug you’d like to buy by name, preferably the street name. Heroin = horse. Marijuana = fun grass. Cocaine = booger sugar.

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California Chillin T ShirtI love this chillin’ state no doubt. He’s got an excellent orange beverage that he’s flippin’ around a little loosely, he’s got the orange frames on the shades, and he’s got the orange flip flops. Good stuff. I really identify with the dude on this California Chillin’ T Shirt. And, it’s a perfect thing to pick up as the weather warms up.

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Available in Men’s and Women’s Sizes.

There’s the elusive and sacred white buffalo, so close yet so far away. The brown buffalo try to ignore the white buffalo, who is outside the pen, thus free to roam whenever and wherever. You can be sure he’ll be gone before any man gets within rifle range. I like to consider myself a white buffalo or whale. I am Moby Dick and the White Buffalo and the protagonist in Ramble On by Led Zeppelin.

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The Muppets are those puppets that Jim Henson (God Rest His Soul) invented in the 1970s and that just had a resurgence in the last year with the New Muppet movie coming out. This Muppantones T Shirt is quite an odd way to celebrate that fact and the goofy fun the Muppets provide.

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That Shit Cray T Shirt

by on April 22, 2012

Available in Men’s and Women’s sizes.

I have always enjoyed the feeling of snapping Crayons in half. It’s almost as good as tossing vinyl LP records at the wall. So what if I have a few violent tendencies. I take care of them in a harmless way. No one is hurt and I get my anger out on crayons and records (and maybe the wall). You may say that’s a waste and unsustainable. What if everyone started snapping crayons and smashing albums? We’d have a big time mess on our hands. Perhaps so much so that the environment couldn’t fully recover and it would be the end of clean drinking water and forests as we know it.

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Kangaroo versus man in a fight to the death. Those damn crazy Australians know how to be entertained. That particular kangaroo may look cute, but she’s killed 47 men in little over nine months. Not many dudes are willing to get in the ring with her, which is why they’re forcing convicts to fight.

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Fancy Cheese T Shirt

by on March 28, 2012

Fancy mouse more like it, but the plating of the cheese is pretty impressive with the grapes and the silver platter and the butler. That’s pretty good stuff. But, that mouse with the top hat, monocle, bow tie, cane, and wing tips is just dapper as can be, and I’m sure he will appreciate the fine funk of a smelly, expensive cheese. Good for him.

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