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At first you think this is one of those misdirection shirts. Oh yeah, Moscow and palm trees and sunsets. Ha ha. But then it hits you like a ton of bricks…this is a WAKE UP CALL. Moscow in 2030 with palm trees. Why, because thanks to carbon emissions we’re changing the weather patterns of the entire globe. The Northern climbs will soon be tropical, while those places down by the Equator are going to be unliveably hot just like Venus and your mom.
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This is a creepy design. Not creepy as in a 42-year-old pocked-marked drooler hitting on your little sister in the subway, but creepy like that is so absurd that it makes me uncomfortable, and I have a pretty high tolerance for the weird, so think how uneasy the people around me will be when I’m wearing it. Gotta have it…creepy.
Actually, that billy goat likes like he was born to wear the viking helmet. He looks good. Dignified.
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Another absurd design from that crazy shirt crew in San Francisco. I believe that would be Darwin riding a giant sea turtle like a bucking bronco, which seems absurd but if you do a close reading of The Origin of Species, you will find that he describes this moment on the Galapagos Islands. It was written in 1859, so it may not be as obvious to the modern day reader.
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All I can really think of is custard when this dude’s name comes up. Maybe it’s because I’m out her in the midwest in the dairy capital of the world, Wisconsin. Actually, I can also remember reading about how Custer was an absolute arrogant Indian-killing idiot, who thought he was invincible, while leading his American army into a slaughter.
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This is the hillybilly equivalent of the Nazi-fighting Captain America. You have to have heroes in all sectors really. Can’t leave places like trailer parks without their own protectors, and this guy here is one of the best. No one, and I mean no one looks as menacing brandishing a pellet gun than good ol’ Merica.
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Sometimes in PR and marketing there are challenges, flaws, or warts on a product too big to sweep under the rug or hide behind catchy music and tired platitudes. So, a trick that smart manipulators use is to magnify the perceived issue until it becomes the flavor of the product. In this case, the product is a visit to Tokyo and they are playing up the excitement and potential stories you’ll collect as you potentially encounter the big lizard…Godzilla. Of course, they can’t use the word Godzilla because that’s too expensive to license.
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Finally! Proof that this rare animal exists. I mean no one could do such an amazing artistic rendering without having actually seen the beast in the flesh. You’ll want to document this moment by getting this shirt. Forget the Loch Ness and Big Foot stuff. Jackalope is where it’s at in terms of elusive creatures.
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The form is pure Ralph Macchio for sure. Just like Mr. Miyagi (God rest his soul) taught him. But, there are other strong karate chimpanzees in the world, so you have to keep working, keep fighting, and keep getting better. Buying this shirt is a contract with the universe, stating that, “yes, you certainly understand your responsibility.” Go get ’em.
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This is one of the weirdest shirts I have ever seen from Headline Shirts and that’s saying something, because they’re all weird. It’s a pineapple with an eye patch. And, it’s banana crossbones. What’s little known is that this is the banner under which the most brutal and violent band of pirates sails.
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