Headline Shirts is wildly awesome

Headline Shirts is the best in the business at delivering absurd, entertaining and hilarious tees. You definitely want to check out these reviews.

Or you might want to take a look at the top 22 Headline Shirts according to me.

Police Line T Shirt

by on December 8, 2010

When the shit goes down, and you’re protesting the increasing fascist state what would ease your anger and alleviate your fear that the great democracy of the United States is going down the toilet, than yellow tape around the riot squad that offers multiple positive messages. Talk about fuckin’ with your mind. You’re protesting TSA anal rape, and the troops come in but they are surrounded by kind yellow tape messages. You might have cognitive dissonance. At least enough for you to be less on your game and give them a chance to take you down…kindly.

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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…Nah Just Kidding, I’ve Never Seen Star Wars T Shirt. So, I’m trying to get the logic or purpose of this shirt. Most hilarious shirts are purchased to impress your friends or like-minded people you hang out with in bars or rodeo after parties. I suppose you know if you’re a nerd or geek or perhaps in the case of this shirt if you’re not really one of those, but you hang with those that are, then you can do a kind of gotcha on them. They’re Star Wars freaks. They have Boba Fett posters on the inside roof of their cars…Gremlins and Toyota Matrix’s for those that were able to make it through the Network Administrator interview process. Anyway, they have an immediate attraction to anything that has that scrolling movie font on it, so they move close read the “A long time ago” bit, get excited then you stomach punch them with that off-handed just kidding, I’ve never even seen Star Wars.

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Boom Box Hoodie

by on December 7, 2010

Ah…nostalgia. Who remembers the boombox? Who remembers sticking in the tape, fast forwarding for three minutes to find your favorite song, hitting play, messing with the three band equalizer pushing the bass to the limits, and absolutely shredding those tiny little speakers with Vivaldi…I mean Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. I do. It was awesome. And, then there was boom box envy. You got the small box, while your rich neighbor got the bigger box with turbo bass and massive woofers, and crystal clear tweeters. Then, there was the dudes down at the basketball court, which had like a cartoon sized ghetto blaster, that pumped Public Enemy straight into the ear hole of everybody within a seven mile radius.

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Dirty Harry was a pretty bitchin’ dude,  carryin’ that monster weapon, the .44 magnum. Now, what you have here is what Headline Shirts is trying to pass off as a Cro Magnon man, but it really looks like a chimpanzee, but I suppose the Cro Magnon man was a lot closer to looking like a monkey than current day man. So, it works. Plus, just the look of that monkey in a coat and tie with that big ass weapon, just looks cool.

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This is kind of a San Francisco resident insider joke kind of shirt, which makes it pretty dang cool. Definitely, you need the Cloud City San Francisco T Shirt if you live in the city, but I’m saying right here that if you are reading this and you’re interested in looking cool, then you should get this shirt, so you can tell people what it means. Seriously. And, here’s the type of language you can use, straight from the mouths of SF residents, Headline Shirts:

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Elvis Meets Vader T Shirt

by on December 6, 2010

Wow. This is a power meeting between two guys at the top of their game. One living large as the Supreme Commander of the Galactic Empire and one capturing the hearts of every girl in the US and abroad with his hip shake and sexy voice. No one knew at the time that both were headed for spectacular falls from grace and untimely deaths. But, players gotta play no matter what the consequences. And that’s the truth.

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Don’t know much about Joseph Stalin, but I do know he was head of the communist party in the Russia for a good long time. And, he committed more atrocities than Hitler. He caused famine. He knitted the Iron Curtain with his evil hands, and he generally sucked hard, despite the fact that he also helped the Allies win in WWII, which was a point in his favor. The Soviets had more casualties in that war than anyone. Something like 20 million or some crazy shit. Anyway, on the Joseph Stalin I Voted T Shirt, good ol’ Joe has an I Voted pin, which is kind of funny because there wasn’t a lot of democratic process in action in his reign of terror.

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This is a very nice play on words. You’ve seen the neon signs in the seedy part of town promoting Girls, Girls, Girls. This is a new scandalous fetish. People want to see shaved squirrels eating acorns, and they pay good money at the door. This isn’t the kind of thing you here on the evening news, and you don’t talk about it around the family dinner table. You have to run in certain circles to know about it.

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Knight Drummer T Shirt

by on December 4, 2010

I don’t really know where to begin with this shirt. Headline Shirts explains it by saying there are all types of musicians, Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney, and Elton John, that have been knighted, and they think that maybe the next knighted musician should have some real hardcore knight action goin’. Like the image for this Knight Drummer T Shirt. Dude has full armor and an awesome sort of crest on the bass drum. That’s pretty badass and would seem more appropriate for anyone knighted in Great Britain, especially a musician.

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Noah’s Dilemma T Shirt

by on December 4, 2010

I’m sure the day God called down on Noah to build him an ark on dry land, Noah started to have dilemmas on a regular basis. I mean, you have nosey neighbors who you really don’t want to tell that their world is soon to be flooded and they’re going to die, and you will have the only boat, but they’re not invited. Then, you have the deal where you have to capture every species of animal in the world in a relatively short period of time. You have to round ’em up, then get two of each and get them on the boat. That is no easy task seeing as there are 60 bazillion species. Also, if you spend some time with the intelligent design folks, I think you’ll discover that they think that both man and dinosaur walked the earth at the same time, which would mean that Noah also had to get all the dinosaurs on the same ship. That is an issue, and that’s what this Noah’s Dilemma T Shirt is talking about.

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This is a nice shirt because it emphasizes the spookiness of clowns, especially to little kids, when the general consensus is that kids really should love the colorful, happy-go-lucky entertainers. There’s a disconnect there and Headline Shirts is exposing it to the masses for the benefit of the children.

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Today was a Good Day by Ice Cube. That’s where this whole Ice Cube’s a Pimp on a Blimp T shirt is coming from. Headline Shirts know what time it is when it comes to classic rap. Everyone knows this song.

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