Food T Shirts Reviewed

Food T Shirts: Probably 65% bacon in this food shirt roundup, but there’s other stuff. Pancakes, fruit, meat, etc.

This is really funny. Forget unicorns crapping Skittles or envying Pegasuses, let’s talk about how one little piece of corn is a unicorn, so what’s the big deal.

Actually, Snorg Tees says it best in their little shirt description:

Read more on Unicorn—A Single Corn T Shirt…


This makes all kinds of no sense. George Bush Sr. doesn’t like broccoli not cake, so the fliparooni is not to have broccoli getting visibly sick at having to eat cake. It’s broccoli smearing cake on Bush Sr. and then eating him, and then taking his bones and then taking his femur and stabbing the thigh of everybody that ever voted for or hired a Bush: President, Governor, CIA, drug runner, or town crier.

Read more on Bleh Broccoli Eats Cake and Doesn’t Like It T Shirt…


Classic scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The rabble has found themselves a nubile, young, pretty girl (should have been a shirt model) and decided she was a witch, but Sir Arthur stops them from burning her, until they’ve applied science and reason to the proceedings. Back in the day this was pretty sophisticated thinking comparing a human to wood and ducks and floating. The ended up determining she was a witch, but at least she got a fair shake.

Read more on Monty Python and the Holy Grail What Floats in Water? T shirt…


As you well know many ‘a love affair was catalyzed by bacon. On a sandwich, in your hair, up your butt, and covered with flair. I don’t know that just meant and I don’t know what this means. What’s the frickin’ fascination with bacon in the youth of today? Yeah, it’s delicious. Crispy. Smells amazing. So, what. So does braunschweiger. I think it’s like a response to all those hippie vegan, raw foodist fags that continue to shove the food ideology down our throats. We get it. Dead animals. Poop. Polluted water. The spirit of Jesus residing in every swine. We…understand…already. So, the kids can’t take the prosthelytizing, thus they celebrate like the most meaty and ubiquitous flesh food product they know.

Read more on You Had Me at Bacon Tshirt…


from The Galloping Beaver:

“Tropical Storm Colin had almost died. Then it found conditions which allowed it to restrengthen and now we have a fairly powerful cyclone bearing down on Bermuda with a likelihood of arriving there early Saturday morning.”

Read more on Tropical Storm Colin Headed Toward Bermuda…


You can’t really see all the cuts of the pig on this diagram but you will when you go out to your porch, pick up the box and slowly, with great anticipation, open up the lovely package. You will see the baby back rips, pork chops, and tenderloin on the top of the pig. And, the ham, kielbasa, hot dogs, bacon, sausage, roast, shoulder, spare ribs, and more. This shirt is chock full of good meat information, and let’s not forget the humor.

Read more on It’s All Good Pork Pig Parts Tshirt…


Hey, from the get I’m going to tell the kids out there that suicide is bad for your health, so think long and hard before you do it, and get some advice from an adult that you trust, like that dude that posts on the Legend of Zelda message board all day. He’s wise. You’ll be in good hands in terms of making the right decision.

Read more on Suicide Watch T-Shirt…

{ 1 comment }

Ants on a Log Tshirt

by on July 26, 2010

That’s a very delish snack. Raisins, celery, and peanut butter. Of course, I could get all snobby and say it’s gotta be local, in season, organic celery, flame raisins, and almond butter instead of the moldy ass peanut butter, but that would deflate the childlike fun bubble that’s been blown just seeing a homemade snack on a tshirt. So, I won’t get all foodie asshole on you, but really, you should be eating the organic shit.

Read more on Ants on a Log Tshirt…


Bacon is quite delicious and does make everything better: eggs, pancakes, sandwiches, macaroni, chocolate, and hamhocks. Don’t talk to me about fakin’ bacon, soy bacon, dog doodoo bacon, or whatever “substitute” meat the “health gurus” are telling you about. You need the real deal. Pig, pork, swine, the other white meat.

Read more on Bacon Makes Everything Better T-Shirt…


Hey, Summer in Sacramento worked a deal with Snorg Tees, so that she can run a drawing for a free tshirt. You know Snorg Tees is one of my favorite funny tshirt retailers, so get over to virtual Sacramento and sign up for the drawing.

Read more on Snorg Tees Giveaway Deadline June 19…


Happy Mother’s Day! In honor of mother’s day, I give you a shirt about vegetables, because that’s always a common subject with the moms of the world. Eat your peas. Eat those brussels sprouts. Eat your salad. That broccoli better be gone by the time I get back from this meeting with my pimp. It’s non-stop, day and night, bitch and moan about eating the vegetables. God, no wonder everybody is so relived to get out of the house and be on their own, where an endless supply of pizza, beer, and skanks awaits. Not a veggie to be seen.

Read more on Vegetables Are What Food Eats T-shirt…


If anything is a Nerdy Shirt, this certainly qualifies: a fake concert tee from a cartoon band in an animated sitcom called Doug from the 90s. Nerd. Geek. And, if you’re into it, I suppose this one fine prized piece of apparel.

Read more on Doug: The Beets Killer Tofu Tour ’95…