Five Finger Tees Reviewed

Five Finger Tees: They’re a steal and the designs are cool, and I review them as they release new ones each week.

Triceratops T Shirt

by on November 14, 2012

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This is just a straight up Triceratops design for Triceratops lovers. No wordplay, mashup, nor misdirection. Take a minute and think about that. Then think about where you stand with this dinosaur. If you love it, get it, and wear it. Enjoy one of your favorite shirts, because it’s just a no frills, no fuss kinda deal.

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Say What Again T Shirt

by on November 14, 2012

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It’s a Star Wars and Pulp Fiction mashup. The power of this combination threatens to rip the very fabric of the universe. Tear a hole for a glimpse at the other side. Careful when you wear this. In fact, might I say, always wear this shirt responsibly.

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It’s an Avatar t-shirt. Not sure if I’ve ever scene an Avatar t-shirt out in the wild. This might be a first for me, which is surprising because it was a huge movie. You’d think there would be more Avatar shirts. Especially, since there’s like a very clear line of demarcation. You either loved it or hated it or like me you didn’t see it yet.

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Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club. Chuck Palaniuk. Brad Pitt. Edward Norton. God that was a good movie, and I need to see it again. It’s been too long. God it was an even better book. When’s Chuck coming out with a new novel.

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Arrested Development was a classic show. And there’s a movie coming or is it a straight to Netflix deal. No idea. The Bluth’s and the Funke’s. Damn that’s a strong comedy cast. How does something like this get canceled?

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It’s a Billy Madison shirt for your viewing pleasure. Wear this if you’re an enormous ugly scary dude, a tiny little supermodel, or anything in between. Adam Sandler joints are for everyone, and so is this shirt. Wait, except, if taken out of the context of the movie it might seem a little unnecessarily violent, but that’s where an honest dialog comes in.

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I did not know that Atlanta was the zombie capital of the world until I started in depth research on this search. But, guess what? It’s true. The Walking Dead is filmed and set in Atlanta. My great aunt lives in Atlanta, and the more I think about it, the more I’m pretty sure she’s a zombie. So, that just about proves it. Plus, there’s this New York Times article.

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This is all backwards and crazy, because lemonade is delicious and lemons are sour as your gramma’s ear wax. But, from what I read on the blogs and hear in the Youtube videos, absurdity is in. So, this shirt is probably right in your ridiculous wheelhouse. Enjoy.

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Go Sports T Shirt

by on October 11, 2012

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If you really want to prove that you’re a nerd and have no sports team affinities, and have no idea about sports, nor do you care, then this Go Sports t-shirt is definitely one that you should consider purchasing and wearing frequently. It really just trivializes sports, which is probably what most sports need, since many are taken way too seriously.

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The most inspirational subterranean speech made by a youth in a movie released in 1985. Why wouldn’t you immediately purchase this tee. It’s a no brainer. Come on guys. This is our time.

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Pumba T Shirt

by on October 11, 2012

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It’s a Puma logo mashed up with The Lion King wild boar. Pretty sweet. Plus, I’ve always liked the combination of red and white. Very pleasing if you ask me. And how can you resist that animal with his snout high in the air. Proclaiming joy.

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It’s Willie Nelson…on a t-shirt. I’ve seen him in cartoons and on stage on the TV, but never on a shirt. This is a first for me and I think we should all celebrate by raising our glasses in a toast, drinking a healthy swig, and pulling out our wallets to purchase one or seven of these fine items. Are you with me? It’s Willie Nelson and wordplay on a shirt for Godsake.

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