Five Finger Tees Reviewed

Five Finger Tees: They’re a steal and the designs are cool, and I review them as they release new ones each week.

Celebrate Dalek T Shirt

by on January 23, 2013

celebrate-dalek-t-shirt

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Hey now, it’s the Dr. Who Dalek monster robot dealio. And, for some reason, this particular Dalek is super happy. Yay! Celebrate. Celebrate. If you’re gonna run into a Dalek this would be the ideal time to do. It probably wouldn’t even try to kill you. However, it is well known their emotions can turn on a dime and that celebrate turns to annihilate.

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Vamanos Pest T Shirt

by on January 16, 2013

vamanos-pest-t-shirt

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It’s a great shout out to the best show on television: Breaking Bad. Vamanos Pest is the company Walt and Jesse purchased to be a front for their meth operations. In fact, when the pest company had the tent over the house, the boys would cook. Ingenious, especially since they figured out a super portable lab.

Love that terrified roach running. Great design for a shirt.

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lets-all-take-a-moment-and-be-thankful-that-spiders-cant-fly-t-shirt

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Here’s my hypothesis on where this t-shirt came from. You know how Oprah and other self-help gurus suggest maintaining a positive attitude. One way to do this is to be gracious…give thanks…keep a gratitude journal.

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Veritas Aequitas T Shirt

by on January 10, 2013

veritas-aequitas-t-shirt

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Boondock Saints. Sometimes it boggles my mind that that movie was/is so popular. Just a classic, but I feel like I saw it on accident. Slummin’ it at a friends house for a few months, during some bad times, rifling through the DVD collection. Dude was excited I never saw it because he was more than happy to watch it again with me. Awesome movie for sure.

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i-lost-an-electron-are-you-positive-t-shirt

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Here you go science nerds. A little humor pop for your wardrobe. Get it. Wear it to class. Become the god you always knew you had buried deep inside you. This changes everything, especially because the lettering is like electric kool-aid acid green.

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Keep On Tolkien T Shirt

by on December 31, 2012

keep-on-tolkien-t-shirt

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Gandalf liked smoking that pipe, and I’m sure J.R.R. fancied himself just like the white wizard, while smoking a pipe as well. White wizard of the written word more like. Someone kept of Tolkien when they decided to make The Hobbit a three-movie bonanza with each installment about 206 minutes long. That’s goin’ real deep Peter Jackson.

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Hey now. It’s the Sheldon Cooper version of Rock Paper Scissors, and you know wants you wrap your mind around all the intricacies you’ll love it even more than you love the original rochambo. Did the writers at The Big Bang Theory come up with that? ‘cuz if they did it’s pretty ingenious.

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You see what they did there? There’s two departments on the same shirt. I’m guessing there are Redundancy Departments without the name redundancy that do a lot of good work, including making sure corporate data is kept secure with backup storage — redundancies — in place. And, of course, there are those that examine workforce redundancies and perform magnificent, sweeping layoffs. Yay!

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I don’t get enough Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom thinking done in my life, so it’s nice to run into a shirt that takes a nice bit from the film and amplifies it. Nice try Lao Che!

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If I see any more Tweets and t-shirt designs pertaining to The Walking Dead I might just have to watch a show even though I have no interest in zombies. Don’t get me wrong. I like that they’re a thing and that zombies are super hot…I huge meme. It’s culturally interesting, but I’m just not into actually watching them moan and stumble on screen. But, I may change my tune when I check out the show.

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Now, this is a racy little number here. Plus, it’s a double entendre which is always good times. Most civilian Hummer drivers are dicks. It’s the nature of the beast. But, also, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Blow jobs can be called hummers, and blow jobs are done on dicks, so that’s where you get that secret meaning that only those in the know will catch on to.

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It would be funny if you had to go to a dojo and work with a sensei for endless hours to get your technique right. No, no. Too fast. Squeeze harder. Less lube. Real black belt…no lotion. Then there’s some sort of Karate Kid like tournament. And it gets hard (no pun intended) and it looks grim, but you pull it out in the end. Winner gets a case of super soft toilet paper.

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