Five Finger Tees Reviewed

Five Finger Tees: They’re a steal and the designs are cool, and I review them as they release new ones each week.

Hey, if there’s anything I can recommend with no compunction, it’s that you should listen to an old guy that wears a tie and smokes a pipe. It’s just one of my rules that I don’t break. Sometimes in life you have to narrow your choices to remain level headed, and if you can find consistent wisdom flowing then make sure you tap in, because it saves you time, energy and sanity.

Read more on Don’t Be Sexist Bitches Hate That T Shirt from Five Finger Tees…

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Love the Hello Kittie living dead look here. We go from oh so cute global kitty phenomenon to the shoulder bone hanging out and dripping. Nasty kitty. Nasty. This is why if you’re a sicko then you probably need to get this Hello Zombie T Shirt right now. It fits your style and schtick, plus it’s just a little tweak to those Hello Kitty lovers, who are slightly absurd in their own way. Actually, I can envision a world where a Hello Kitty also loves Hello Zombie. It’s like matching the outfit to the mood or time of year. It’s an accessory to go with the ripped stockings and dark eye make up you got going for a night on the town.

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I love Pulp Fiction. I love the burgers for breakfast scene. Samuel L. Jackson is spectacular. I love how he eats the dude’s Big Kahuna Burger and washes it down with Sprite. And, I’m sure you love these things too, which means there is no reason to not love this Big Kahuna Burger T Shirt. Damn that movie came out 17 years ago. Seeing it in the theater was the greatest moment in my life, because, for some reason, my mom was in a good mood (might of had something to do with that plumber fixing the bathroom fixture…as she made sure he was doing a proper job with the door closed…man those water pipes make weird dying dog noises), and she let me go to the theater, and even gave me $5.25 to see the matinee. I road my banana seat bike over to the Cineplex, and enjoyed the heck out of that fine Tarantino film.

Read more on Pulp Fiction Big Kahuna Burger T Shirt from Five Finger Tees…

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This lamp has made it onto a lot of t-shirts, but this Leg Lamp T Shirt stands out. I like the black art on the red shirt color. Very classy looking shirt, which it needs to be, because the lamp was a major award. How many times have you seen A Christmas Story? Three times. Five times. Two dozen. It’s a very watchable film, and is perfect for getting you in the holiday spirit. Take the experience up one notch and get the t-shirt to wear as you watch the movie.

Read more on A Christmas Story Leg Lamp T Shirt from Five Finger Tees…

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It’s a classic Christmas movie t-shirt, featuring the doofus thieves from Home Alone.

The Wet Bandits, Marv and Harry, Escaped. Be on the lookout. Warning: These criminals are armed and clumsy. I have to admit Home Alone was an entertaining movie, Marv and Harry were pretty slapstick hilarious. Do you need any more reasons, during this holiday season to purchase the Home Alone Wet Bandits T Shirt and wear it all year ’round.

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Here’s a good one for all you kiddies out there. Get over the lie. Embrace the truth. Move on with your life. Get the Santa I Don’t Exist T Shirt because it’s the brutal truth, it’s funny, and Santa is flippin’ the bird, which is something you don’t see everyday, unless the world makes it to the future as seen in Idiocracy. Then you probably will see that everyday…

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I’m not even going to pretend I know what particle physics is, nor what a hadron is, but I can get the gist of a nerdy science joke like the best of ’em. If you’re a physicist or a goober scientist, and do shit with microscopes and beakers, then you probably are salivating over the idea of purchasing this Particle Physics Gives Me a Hadron T Shirt. And guess what…I’m not going to stop you.

Read more on Particle Physics Gives Me a Hadron T Shirt from Five Finger Tees…

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Standard zombie fare here. For some reason the purple and orange really appeals to me as does the four panel lo fi artwork. Do you like this Zombies Run on Brains T Shirt? Let me know if you do or don’t or have no opinion whatsoever and were just here because you heard Booker Addison at Tshirt Groove was must read blogging (believe me there are millions just like you).

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I like this little mashup with The Amityville Horror and Disneyland. I think what’s truly interesting is that the Amityville Horror “true” story probably got blown way out of proportion, and the Happiest Place on Earth probably has some deep dark secrets hidden within those Mickey Mouse walls. Look at it from that perspective and you probably have two places that are about even in horror quotient.

Read more on Amityville The Scariest Place on Earth T shirt from Five Finger Tees…

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Apparently there’s a show about a biker gang called Sons of Anarchy. And within this show is something called Samcro, which I haven’t figured out in my 19 seconds of deep internet research. However, that shouldn’t stop you from buying this Sons of Anarchy Samcro T Shirt and wearing it, and then figuring out what it means later. Sometimes you just have to jump at opportunity without all the facts. Ready. Fire. Aim. That’s my MO. This shirt is cool looking because it’s a mashup of this SOA business and a bottle of Jack Daniels, which I have always thought has a pleasing design.

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Please wait, while I come up with something sarcastic to write here. It’s tough, because I’m not very sarcastic. I’m very sincere and straightforward, and think there isn’t much room in this crazy world for being ironic. Nonetheless, if you are sarcastic, unlike me, I do encourage getting this Sarcastic Comment Loading Please Wait T Shirt because it’s truthful. It let’s everybody know where you’re coming from. And they can be ready to try and work hard to understand you…and whether or not you’re being serious or not.

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Let’s give thanks for David Hasselhoff! He’s a god in Germany and around the world, and a campy cult figure in the US thanks to his work on Knight Rider, Baywatch, as a singer, and family videos where he’s drunk off his ass and eating a sloppy burger. I ask you this: what other man deserves his own t-shirt more than David Hasselhoff. I think you’ll have a hard time coming up with a good answer, which is exactly why you will probably own this Don’t Hassel the Hoff T Shirt in the next week or so.

Read more on David Hasselhoff Don’t Hassel the Hoff T Shirt from Five Finger Tees…

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