Deez Teez: No matter how you spell it with two z’s, Deez Tees, or even Dees Teez

Deez Teez: Recently upped their game with a slick website and a ton of officially licensed shirts from all your favorite pop culture.

Have you seen Beerfest? If so, I don’t need to tell you the Broken Lizard hit about a triple with this one. It’s not a home run but it’s an extra base hit, and you know what, as any baseball player will tell you, that’s pretty good. I would highly recommend any triple movies. If you’re into retarded comedies then, of course, you need to see this one. The Das Boot When the Bubble Comes Turn the Boot  T shirt is a little obscure, which I think adds a little more mystique and desirability to it.

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I liked this movie, and this was a nice scene in the car driving up to the ski resort. John Cusack’s character, Adam talks about how he broke up with the chick he had lost his virginity to in one of the shuttered bars in the ghost town that used to be a hoppin’ resort. Craig Robinson as Nick Weber, and Rob Corddry, as Lou Dorchen, recall how hot the girl was and can’t believe Adam dumped her. Adam was second guessing it as well, because all they did was listen to records and have sex.

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The mix of the Bob Dobb character, straight-laced, middle manager, two kids, blonde, trim wife with dinner on the table every day at 6 pm, just as he walks in the door, combined with gangster sensibilities is always a good time. This Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangster T Shirt does not disappoint.

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I admit I liked the movie. Carrell and Arkin were funny. The story was cute and snappy and quirky. It was worth the time spent watching it. And the prorated cost of my Netflix subscription. However, I also understand the people that thought it was to sappy and pretentious and a little stupid. Like the girl winning the pageant or contest or whatever, when really, they should have steered clear of the whole bullshit, superficial scene. Which is where this Little Miss Fucking Sunshine T Shirt comes in.

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This is one of those “says one thing in bold print, but means another in fine print” trickery t shirts. You’re a straight dude looking to score at the club. You have the Satisfaction Guaranteed T Shirt visible loud and proud. Girl takes a look and likes what she says and gets curious why you are telling people that satisfaction is guaranteed. Whammo. You’re in. She’s committed because she likes the look of you. You know she’s ready to play, and is interested in being satisfied. Now, you show her the fine print, which she thinks is funny and now it’s over. She’s in your snare.

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People will probably call this t shirt homophobic, but I feel like it’s another one of those conversation starters that you hopes leads to casual sex. And, if that’s your intention for wearing the I Love You No Homo T Shirt. If you want to have a bit of a coy back and forth like…

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Another spectacular shirt to wear in places where you don’t know people but you want to meet people, and maybe even get with people, if you know what I mean. I’m convinced that there are so many tees like this because they work and people want to wear them. If they are truly clever or funny like this Stranger With Benefits T Shirt is they will get a laugh and break the ice, and you can start a conversation. It doesn’t necessarily have to go to hooking up immediately, but that notion has been firmly implanted as at least something that will need to be broached as the evening moves along.

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Robert De Niro is Jack Byrnes and as the stereotypical hard ass father-in-law, he doesn’t trust Ben Stiller, who plays Greg Focker. So, he’s up front and gives him the spiel. He tells him exactly what he expects from Greg, and if he is satisfied Greg will be in Byrnes circle of trust, and if he doesn’t measure up then he’s outside the circle. Well, this is a broad comedy franchise, so you can imagine there’s a lot of antics and Focker goes in and out of the trust circle all the time.

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What a sweet bit of sentiment specifically for Valentine’s Day. Heart felt. Warm. Nice. And, if it really gets random folks of the opposite sex or same sex if you swing that way, then that’s even more romantic, especially if you can forego the chocolates, flowers, and expensive dinners, then this Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I’m Down to Fuck What About You T Shirt is truly the most lovely Valentine’s treat ever. Do you agree?

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You have the epic meme and the fail meme, and the epic fail meme, and this captures all of them mixed up together, which is pretty neat. It’s a self affirmation that you don’t suck. That you’re not an epic fail. I think positive affirmations and NLP and all that crazy psychological, self help shit, talks about actually using the positive language rather saying what you are not, so this I’m Too Epic To Fail T Shirt may fall a bit short on taking you to the next level of your personal evolution, but it’s a pretty good shirt, which may be enough to convince you to pull out your wallet, grab that credit card, and purchase this little number.

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You remember the scene where Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn get owned by Bradley Cooper and that other dude in football. On one Cooper TD, the other guy says crab cakes and football that’s what Maryland does. Vince Vaughn looks at him like he has seagull shit on the top of his ear.

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Hey you can go to different decades or even centuries and still be able to say Be Right Back, if you time machine is a Delorean and you’re awesome like Michael J. Fox. Of course, maybe you can’t be that confident if you’re going back into earlier times in your life, and there’s the possibility that you change things. Hell, the person you’re telling that you’ll be right back may not even live in the same town because of the shenanigans you pull in the past. That type of shit has massive ramifications. So, maybe this BRB T Shirt is totally inaccurate. And, maybe that’s why you want to buy it. It’s like if you’re a coin collector and you run into the wheat penny that actually has an image of a dude making the rock on sign with his right hand. They call that a defect and if there are only a few in the run then it is worth quite a bit more.

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