Deez Teez: No matter how you spell it with two z’s, Deez Tees, or even Dees Teez

Deez Teez: Recently upped their game with a slick website and a ton of officially licensed shirts from all your favorite pop culture.

It’s a dick joke. Yay. Everybody loves dick jokes. This Ask Me About My 12 Inch T Shirt would be especially funny on me, since I actually rock about 1.5 inches flaccid, and 4.25″ rock hard. I’m not lying I totally measured it in my mom’s basement. Yeah, that’s right ladies, I’m 40 and I still get rock hard.

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Adam Sandler busts out the scuba gear to get the little punk kid to take a bath and to be nice to the delivery man in the movide Big Daddy. You can tell the kid is a handful because he’s wearing a Hooters shirt, jumping on the couch, and smacking Rob Schneider on the head. I never saw this movie, but there’s always some funny stuff in a Sandler movie, even if the last dozen have been lame overall.

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Unlucky Rabbit T Shirt

by on March 19, 2011

This shirt is disgusting and sad and there are probably 21 million people in the world that it appeals to, so I’m going to review it for the degenerates. That poor rabbit was down on his luck. Divorced. Lost his job. Every one of his 92 kids hated him. Until, one day, lying under the bridge it dawned on him. I’m going to turn this thing around. Rabbit feet are supposed to be lucky, but they’re not working for me, so maybe I have to wear one around my neck rather than just have them naturally at the end of my leg.

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Good movie. Crazy premise. Murder of the entire wedding party, but the pregnant bride survives barely. Now, she’s out for revenge against the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. Of course, the squad has it’s own wikipedia page, because why wouldn’t a fictional band of hoodlums from a movie have one, especially one dreamed up by movie savant Quentin Tarantino for his Kill Bill picture.

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Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!

Truth and justice. This shirt celebrates the very great movie Boondock Saints. You got the prayer, the church, the Irishness, and the Catholic pageantry. The Veritas Aequitas T Shirt is probably the perfect tee to feature on St. Patty’s Day with all that crazy mix of angel and devils and good and evil and saints and sinners that comes with delving deep in the Catholic church, a bottle of booze, and the Irish psyche.

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The only problem I have with this shirt is that I’d like to see the artwork lower…like over the belly rather than the chest. That would be perfect. I think this is a really nice sentiment and makes obesity funny and light-hearted instead of all the heavy news stories about fatness causing cancer, and heart problems and all that other bullshit. Forget that. Embrace the gut with the This Ain’t a Beer Belly It’s a Fuel Tank for a Sex Machine T Shirt. Fat dudes need some action too.

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Get This Shirt From Deez Teez

The thing with these aggressive, offensive t shirts is that people don’t think you’re really talking to them through the shirt. In fact, they probably imagine you are aiming this vindictive stuff at people THEY DON’T LIKE. So it makes them a little giddy to see something like this I Have Tourettes, Not Really But Fuck You Anyways T Shirt, because they think you’re sticking it to their enemies. So, you have to be patient with the people that come up to you and tell them that actually the shirt is especially for them. They’ll be taken aback and start incoherent mumblings, but they’ll get the message, and ultimately they may change their ways and become decent citizens of planet Earth.

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“That’s the male Maria Carey yo, give it up.”

This is a little addendum to the Step Brothers movie. I think it’s in the extra footage on the DVD or maybe there was a bit in the movie. I can’t really remember. Nevertheless, it’s quite funny and you like it, and if you haven’t seen it you will like it when you press play at the bottom of this post. Then, you will go to your favorite credit card and make a strong move to purchase one or more of these Boats ‘n Hoes T Shirts.

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Celebrate one of the greatest movies of all time that happens to be a comedy. The Coen Brothers pretty much knock it out of the park every time, but this one broke the windshield of the Mercedes Benz owned by an asshole. It was that good. You know Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman, John Turturro, Sam Elliott, and the rest of the magnificent cast killed it. Joel and Ethan Coen squeezed out every last ounce of acting brilliance from all of them. The script was tight as the tightest thing you can imagine. And, that closing line from The Dude is one for the ages, which is why you need to make sure you have a shirt to commemorate it.

Read more on The Big Lebowski The Dude Abides T Shirt…


Nice little shirt for the alcoholic in all of us. Whether you kick up your feet after work and have one cold one every evening, or you suck down bottles of cheap vodka in the backseat of your car in the driveway at 2 AM every night before passing out on the bathroom floor, but always getting up and at ’em and ready for work, before the kids get up, so there isn’t an embarrassing scene.

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Bobby and Peter Farrelly of the Farrelly Brothers fame have been somewhat hit and miss with their absurd comedies, but I’d have to say Kingpin, starring Bill Murray and Woody Harrelson, was a big hit (or should I say strike…ha ha ha).

Read more on Kingpin Championship Bowling Match Big Ern Vs. Rubber Man T shirt…


God damn this is a good song. It doesn’t beat around the bush. It doesn’t play coy. Sir Mix-A-Lot can not lie. He likes big butts. Baby Got Back. “I like ’em round and big.”

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