Deez Teez: No matter how you spell it with two z’s, Deez Tees, or even Dees Teez

Deez Teez: Recently upped their game with a slick website and a ton of officially licensed shirts from all your favorite pop culture.

This is one for all you American football fans out there. I know there are millions a day that visit this site. Basically, you’ve been waiting for a while to pounce on the next football shirt I highlighted. It’s been a while. But, a monumental occassion like owners and players being able to agree on how to split 600 trazillion dollars, while half of the U.S. starts to slip below the poverty line, is really something to celebrate on a shirt. I mean. Thank god. What the hell do the miserable unemployed have to look forward to if not the NFL.

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This is why you shouldn’t have a prejudice against fat people. Instead allow them into your circle of friends. You don’t have to be nice to them. They’ll be so grateful that you just allowed them in the group. Then, when you go on that group camping trip, fulfilling your dream of a threesome, and you hear some rumbling in the mess tent, you and the girls (guys) can run fully aware that the bear will grab Rodney, who will be a nice and juicy catch. You’ll smile despite the circumstances because your “let the fatty in the club” plan worked to perfection. And you love it when a plan comes together.

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I believe this 1 In the Caboose T Shirt refers to a sexual act in which a man puts his finger in the anus of a woman. I could be wrong. This could simply be a shirt about a fond memory of getting a chance to hang out with the caboose keeper on a cross country train excursion. Maybe it was one of those European backpacking vacations, and you got to hang out with the grizzled old dude, who told awesome stories, gave you fire whiskey to sip, and rolled you a cig.

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Another very delicate and romantic message tee from Deez Teez. If you want to make it a special evening, then you need to go ahead and wear this I Have a Huge Heart On For You T Shirt, because it’s straightforward and it’s wordplay, and you’re almost guaranteed to get some action…if you’re not picky.

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The kind of reminds me of the Marvin Gaye song Sexual Healing for some reason. I guess maybe it’s the same subject matter. Anyway, that’s one of them old school flip phones with an antenna. And the message on this Textual Seduction T Shirt is super classy: cum over.

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Deez Teez has decided to end it for 18 shirts, so they’re putting them on massive discount. You can grab one for only $9 while supplies last, and at that price do you think they’re going to last? Didn’t think so. Go celebrate retirement in style.

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Another Jersey Shore shirt for your wearing pleasure. When you wear Jersey Shore quotes you are automatically super classy, and ready for the big time. That’s why I highly recommend that you get yourself and your pals a couple of these Jersey Shore No Grenade Zone T Shirt.

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Hey, how do you write the title of this Casey Anthony is Not Guilty T Shirt in the title of the blog post where they don’t allow cross outs. Nobody is going to know what this shirt is really about, but I guess that makes for more of a gotcha moment. Anyway, this case has received massive media attention. Probably about 98% more than it should, especially with the economy tanking for real this time without enough grease in the printing press to keep up with the implosion. With politics, Wall St., and corporation riddled with corruption, we put all of our “hard hitting” reporters on a single murder case.

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It’s always the best policy to walk around telling every girl you fancy that they’re whores. Cash or liquor? Same same. Just a means to an end if you know what I mean. I know that you’ll be leaving with me tonight. Hey, isn’t that a Franz Ferdinand song: misoginysts. Anyways, if you’re one of these guys with all the confidence in the world and a penchant for the naughtier girls, this Can I Buy You a Drink Or Should I Just give You Cash Instead T shirt is exactly what you need to fine tune your game.

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Hey, Deez Teez is running a special 4th of July sale where you get 20% off your order. That’s a pretty good deal, so I suggest you jump on it right now. It’s not clear when the sale ends so go right now and use coupon code SUMMER20.

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Yikes. This is potentially traumatic for any young Barney fans that happen by while you’re wearing this Barnivore T Shirt. Barney, the big purple annoyance, has simply tore into the other dinosaur, looks like a triceratops (I know, I know…they’re called something else but I can’t remember and can’t be bothered to spend 14 seconds to look it up).

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Planking is all the rage with the kids. You lie down face down and stiff…and you’re planking. Take a picture and load it to Facebook and now you’re just as cool as that teenager next door. Good job. Now, take it to the next level. Get the Planking It’s Extreme Laying Down T Shirt.

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