Animal T Shirts: Your favorite beasts on tees

Animal T Shirts: If the shirt features an animal and it’s funny or cool, it’s been reviewed here.

Masked Turtles T Shirt

by on October 1, 2010

I am way too lazy to figure out if this means something. I know the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles looked similar to these guys except that they were super buff and seemed pretty much like humans with turtle costumes on. These seem more like a kid saw the movie, was inspired and painstakingly cut out some tiny masks out of felt, then went on a box turtle hunt. Once he found four, he dressed them up in the masks and stacked them on top of one another.

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WTF…is this? Okay all you kiddies, gather around the stage and we’re going to have a little cutesy toddler time. We have a puppy in a suit and a kitty in a tie. They each have brief cases and they’re totally ready to take on any DUI or criminal case you may be wound up in. Killed your wife? The cuties will get you off with an insanity plea. Burned the orphanage to the ground. The little cuddly poos will frame the hard-working school teacher that commuted past the site daily for 9 and a half years. Yessirree. Crack team Rex & Whiskers Attorneys at Awwwwwww are on the job so get the t shirt, and if you spill hot coffee in your lap because you’re trying to sober up after that long night carousing with that cheap hooker, well these little sweetums will sue the fuck out of the corporation that sold the beverage to you. And, win, or you don’t pay.

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I Like Turtles T Shirt

by on September 28, 2010

Lot’s of people like turtles, so you’re going to connect with a lot of new friends if you add this shirt to your rotation. I say go for it. Turtles are worth it. They’re the embodiment of slow and steady, and if we’re talking about snapping turtles, they can snip your thumb off with no problem. That’s so cool. So, get the I Like Turtles T shirt, if you like turtles. Otherwise, don’t get it because there’s no sense going through life as a fraud. Right?

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Cute shirt involving a tyrannosaurus rex and a sound we image him to make, then connecting that sound with love. How could you not be compelled to snatch RAWR means I love you in dinosaur T Shirt. I mean after all the lovely dinosaur things that have happened in our culture in the past 20 years or so, including the Jurassic Park trilogy, turning Triceratops into a non-entity, Night at the Museum, and probably five more pop culture items that I’m totally spacing.

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Night Owl, Day Owl T Shirt

by on September 16, 2010

Usually you see the night owl with a snifter of brandy. This one is a little less stuffy, a little more chain and moon charm, and martini. Looks happy whatever the case. I’d hang with him if he wasn’t so damn spooky with that swivel head and wingspan swooping by when I’m taking a wizz 10 feet from the tent at the campground.

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Did I miss something big and bunny related that has caused this massive influx of bunnies on tshirts, decals, and hood ornaments. What…is going on around here.

This shirt may make a little shout out to the hip hop culture and acid, which is the only thing that keeps it somewhat edgy and ready for Tshirt Groove prime. Yeah, acid. White rabbit. Jefferson Airplane. What are you 25-years-old? Know your music history. Hip hop…you know Tribe Called Quest, Pharcyde, your mama…do you remember the golden rock of the 60s and hip hop of the early 90s. If not, you need to bone up, and then you will recognize this Hip Hop Hooray Bunny T Shirt for the badass piece of rock memorablia that it is.

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Mouse Maze Chainsaw T Shirt

by on September 14, 2010

Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. Sometimes you shouldn’t go through the maze to get the cheese like people keep telling you to do. Sometimes you need to bust out the chainsaw and cut through the walls and forget the proper maze solving procedure. This is why this mouse is so inspiring. Are you inspired?

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Not sure what Enzo would think of this spoof of his beloved horsey logo. And horses have hooves not fists, so does this shirt even remotely make sense or appeal the sense of humor of the masses. I’m not sure.  They do tread dangerously close to ripping off the Ferrari logo so if you purchase the Fist Pump Champion t shirt, you can feel like you’re on the cutting edge.

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I kept looking for the bleeding cut off rabbit’s foot for good luck, but that’s not where this shirt was going. A little bunny with its foot cut off would not be very good at the old hippity hip hop, now would he? Instead, we’ve got a little straight up word play, and it’s fine, except I have a question. Is there such a thing as hip hop, or did it die with Tribe Called Quest and De La Soul? Are there still acts out there putting out the shizzle hip hop style? Is the culture style live or has it been co-opted into mainstream doodoo. Or am I wearing the I Bleed Hip Hop T Shirt as a retro-styley memory of the golden age of the music.

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This is the shirt featured in the Jake and Amir video at College Humor. It gets all crazy technological and futuristic that you can watch a video in which a tshirt is featured prominently and that same t shirt can be purchased on the web on the same day you see the video entertainment.

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Okay, lesson for the day. When two people are in a horse costume that’s called pantomime horse, and apparently it’s really big in the U.K. Because all of the videos on Youtube for the pantomime horse are from over there. Kind of figures. Weirdos.

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Well, I guess I should make a comment about this shirt, but it just makes me sort of really sad for the poor pointy headed dudes that came before us. Not their fault that the meteor had their ugly ass profile in its sites from about 2 million miles away.

Read more on Don’t Stop Believing Triceratops T Shirt…