Animal T Shirts: Your favorite beasts on tees

Animal T Shirts: If the shirt features an animal and it’s funny or cool, it’s been reviewed here.

Seven Deadly Sins T Shirt

by on December 10, 2010

Okay, I guess you can’t really analyze this shirt without pulling out the seven deadly sins and going over them one at a time. But first, according to www.deadlysins.com:

“The Seven Deadly Sins are those transgressions which are fatal to spiritual progress. You probably commit some of them every day without thinking about the rich tradition of eternal damnation in which you’re participating.”

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Top Gun Goose T Shirt

by on December 9, 2010

It’s sad as shit when Goose dies in Top Gun, and Tom Cruise, as Maverick, emotes the hell out of the scene when he’s mourning the passing of his wing buddy. In fact, it’s getting a little dusty in here as I type this.

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Good ol’ Sasquatch started a game of hide seek with a couple of his little buddies like 50 years ago. They could never find him, so they gave up, but he kept playing. They grew up and did the things that all Big Foot’s do. Hide out in the special forest with the rest of their kind. No humans ever make it that deep into the woods so they are safe. There’s about 80 of the hairy man like creatures. They average 9 feet tall. But, poor ol’ “Bigfoot” never got the message, so he’s still out there playing. He has moments where he sort of wants to get caught, so he lets himself be seen, but the hairless freaks carrying guns and driving cars freak him out.

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This is a very nice play on words. You’ve seen the neon signs in the seedy part of town promoting Girls, Girls, Girls. This is a new scandalous fetish. People want to see shaved squirrels eating acorns, and they pay good money at the door. This isn’t the kind of thing you here on the evening news, and you don’t talk about it around the family dinner table. You have to run in certain circles to know about it.

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Noah’s Dilemma T Shirt

by on December 4, 2010

I’m sure the day God called down on Noah to build him an ark on dry land, Noah started to have dilemmas on a regular basis. I mean, you have nosey neighbors who you really don’t want to tell that their world is soon to be flooded and they’re going to die, and you will have the only boat, but they’re not invited. Then, you have the deal where you have to capture every species of animal in the world in a relatively short period of time. You have to round ’em up, then get two of each and get them on the boat. That is no easy task seeing as there are 60 bazillion species. Also, if you spend some time with the intelligent design folks, I think you’ll discover that they think that both man and dinosaur walked the earth at the same time, which would mean that Noah also had to get all the dinosaurs on the same ship. That is an issue, and that’s what this Noah’s Dilemma T Shirt is talking about.

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More Wolves T Shirt

by on December 1, 2010

Never think that there’s enough wolves on t shirts in the world. This is another spectacular offering. It’s so soulful and mystical and wonderful. There’s a wolf howling at the moon. There’s a wolf riding a white horse amongst the stars howling at the moon. Magnificent.

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They always say that sharks are misunderstood and I never really understood that sentiment. I thought it was pretty easy to understand when they were venturing into three feet of water and biting human bathers arms off. They’re vicious killers that need to eat meat, and if food is scarce they’ll go get an arm or leg off a surfer or even a timid surf dipper. Did we not learn anything from Jaws?

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This shirt is so well designed it just looks natural like that deer in the orange safety hunting gear and strapped with a rifle is just the way it should be. The deer looks great. Of course, I’m wondering what kind of gun that is with the banana clip. I don’t really know anything about guns, but I think that banana clips aren’t generally on hunting rifles.

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Sad Rhino T Shirt

by on November 28, 2010

This poor rhinoceros was just playing with a  beach ball out on the Serengeti Plains in Tanzania when the inevitable happened. He popped the ball with his big scary tusk. Bummer. He had scene the seals off the coast in the Indian Ocean on that family migratory vacation a couple of summers back, and he’d always wanted to try it himself. When the ball fell out of the sky, like the bottle in The Gods Must Be Crazy, he thought it was a sign that ball tricks were to be his life’s work.

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Where My Dogs At? T Shirt

by on November 27, 2010

DMX done rapped this song, then the phrase morphed into an Internet meme. You have an animated short called Where My Dogs At and you have this Where My Dogs At T shirt making light of a very serious message. Gotta have friends and they gotta back you up when shit starts going down.  Whereas this shirt brings to the front the rumor that Asians eat dogs, thus the little cardboard box of take out may just have your dogs…not the dogs you call your friends because that would be really Jeffrey Dahmer gross. Just real dogs, which is sorta gross but not cannibalism icky gross.

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WWF Panda Bears T Shirt

by on November 22, 2010

This is a good one. Wordplay combining Worldwide Wrestling Federation and World Wildlife Fund, and pandas starting a little fisticuffs. The WWF fake wrestling is now WWE, so that makes the reference retro which makes it that much better. Then you have the two pandas, which is some creative license because the WWF logo is one panda. You see how that works? It’s brilliant.

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A kid can dream right? Dinosaurs in super high tech astronaut suits where they can pretty much just fly around in space untethered. That is a world we can all hope for. I love the simplicity of the suit too: just a tank and an antenna to keep in touch. Nice.

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