Animal T Shirts: Your favorite beasts on tees

Animal T Shirts: If the shirt features an animal and it’s funny or cool, it’s been reviewed here.

3 Werewolves T Shirt

by on April 13, 2011

Those are some beasty sinewy werewolves howling at a blood red moon that looks somewhat like an organ from a mammal. Plus, you have a scary dead tree, vampire bats flying around, big sharp teeth, fiery red eyes, and menacing nostril steam, to make this one of the spookiest shirts I’ve ever seen. The 3 Werewolves T Shirt is especially insidious because it is mimicking the ubiquitous three wolves concept, which is such iconic imagery for togetherness, soulfulness, and metaphysical exploration. I mean that’s what I feel when I see those magnificent beasts howling at the full moon.

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Here’s Sheldon Cooper’s expanded version of Roshambo.

“Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitate lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and rock crushes scissors.”

Read more on The Big Bang Theory Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock T Shirt…


I Am Banksy T Shirt

by on April 5, 2011

Banksy is a street artist. A graffiti man. A keep it real vandal on the streets of Bristol, and he’s illusive. I guess when breaking the law is your God-given talent and calling and passion, you want to keep a pretty low profile. He does stencils that have captured the collective minds of at least 100s of people, and now you can wear the I Am Banksy T Shirt and nobody would be the wiser. Of course, you might get extradited back to good old England and tried for painting shit that doesn’t want painting.

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I have absolutely no idea what this 1+2=Naughty T Shirt means or is trying to say. I have nothing. You have some math. You have some totally random. You have a deer and a boy. You have a slight hint of bestiality. Or maybe a kid bringing home a wild animal to domesticate, which is naughty. There’s a little bit of threesome in there, because there’s the one (some dude), plus two (some hot bi-curious chicks) equals some naughty, naughty times.

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I think this looks better on a man than on a woman, because there’s a little more invested. You can’t walk around with a I Love Unicorns T Shirt with a total My Little Pony vibe without entering into conversations about your manliness. But, you can’t wear it with irony. That’s my rule. Irony is useless. You have to wear it with the greatest sincerity. You have to exude the wonderment and magic that you know comes from believing in unicorns and appreciating what they represent on a mythological level.

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This gets lost in the whole going extinct themselves thing, but dinosaurs really were the prophets of their age and they tried to spread the news in a timeless manner: sandwich boards. As you can see in the actual photograph that is printed on the Dinosaur The End is Near 2012 BC T Shirt, this T Rex had a humble heart and open mind and was primed to receive prophetic vibrations from the universe. He did all this to save humans, but with such a charitable nature, this poor dinosaur forget to look out for himself, and died when the great fire/flood/wind overtook the land, except for the caves where the humans dwell.

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Fat penguin is drinking a soda and he’s happy and he’s ready to be on your chest and help break the ice with the people you want to get to know at the bar, the party, whatever. Do you need just a little leg up in starting a conversation with a stranger? Well, this Fat Penguin Is Trying to Break the Ice T Shirt is the perfect little tool for you. Wear it every time you have ice breaking needs.

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Get Buck Wild T Shirt

by on March 27, 2011

Not everybody knows this about male deer. They are wild. Let’s talk about the epic fights over does. Or how about the boombox in the antlers ritually placed with the 8th point (I actually have no idea how the points on the antlers work, and instead of trying to get away with a random mention of the 8th point, I decided to come clean and admit my ignorance…I have a lot of readers that are avid hunters, and I didn’t want them to think I was an idiot…at least more of an idiot than they already think I am). Wait, I’m going to go with the truth on this as well. I have no idea if I have a ton of hunter readers. Actually, it’s probably a more accurate guess to say that only 1 in 500 visitors to this site has ever gone hunting.

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This is an absolutely spectacular shirt. The ruffles. The suit jacket. You can imagine this monkey has a tail sticking out of the tails in his colorful jacket. The knickers. Buckle shoes. Hosiery. Let your imagination run wild as you stare at this Forefather T Shirt. Look deep into the monkey’s eyes. Imagine that you are caressing it’s powdered wig. Enjoy the statesmanly white beard. And realize that Headline Shirts is making a statement that a lot of vocal individuals WILL NOT LIKE. Evolution happened!

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Available in Men’s and Women’s Sizes.

This has to be a top candidate for one of the weirdest, creepiest, and awesomist shirts around. It basically took the ironic wolf shirt to the next level. Scratch that…I think it took that concept to its ultimate conclusion and it is awesome like the ocean is awesome or God is awesome. Scary and amazing and you want to jump in, but it totally takes you breath away to even think about letting go and entering the unknown waters.

Read more on Full Moon Werewolf Sax Solo T Shirt…


Unlucky Rabbit T Shirt

by on March 19, 2011

This shirt is disgusting and sad and there are probably 21 million people in the world that it appeals to, so I’m going to review it for the degenerates. That poor rabbit was down on his luck. Divorced. Lost his job. Every one of his 92 kids hated him. Until, one day, lying under the bridge it dawned on him. I’m going to turn this thing around. Rabbit feet are supposed to be lucky, but they’re not working for me, so maybe I have to wear one around my neck rather than just have them naturally at the end of my leg.

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Shark Punch T Shirt

by on March 16, 2011

Dude. Wicked uppercut by the dude that got his diving equipment at a pawn shop like three miles inland from the cove. He even disregards the common advice to aim for the nose and goes straight for the chin, because that’s what kind of badass he is. Not to mention he’s wearing knee pads from the 70s, sneakers with buckles wrapped around them, and that old ass diver mask that probably doesn’t even work. In fact, it’s kind of sad, he does this thing to the shark, who just swims away defeated, but Mr. Uppercut actually dies on this dive because the helmet is too heavy and he’s not actually connected to any oxygen. But, it’s good that we wear this Shark Punch T Shirt, because it celebrates the good times.

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