Animal T Shirts: Your favorite beasts on tees

Animal T Shirts: If the shirt features an animal and it’s funny or cool, it’s been reviewed here.

Very unfortunate name for this battleship. Very ironic that it got free hugged to death by the most gigantickist squid ever to exist. Think of the ink shots from that thing. Probably cloudy up like 3 nautical miles of water from the ocean bottom to the surface. Is it cubed nautical miles when you want to talk about the entire volume of water that sits in a 3 nautical mile area of a body of water. I’m knot to good with this stuff. Get it…knot. Funny boat joke.

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I looked this up because I have no idea what this Duke Platypus T Shirt means. Well, on the surface, the platypus is all decked out like an important Duke and that’s cute on it’s own…I mean the top hat, pocket watch, bow tie, suit jacket, cuff links, leather gloves and walking stick are great, but I can’t seem to figure out why these two words have come together. There’s a Duke Platypus facebook page, and there seems to be some connection between Duke University science and the platypus, but I’m not sure these are the answers I’m looking for.

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This movie is set to be released in theaters on May 26, 2011, so this is a preemptive strike with the Alan Garner Yellow Lab T Shirt. Even if you haven’t seen the movie yet, you can get this shirt because it feels right. Of course, Alan would wear the shirt, and yellow lab faces are so cute and if you have one on your shirt you’re a dork even if you’re trying to be ironic, and that’s just fine.

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It’s the beginning stages of the classic food fight in Animal House, and, of course, Blutarsky is in the middle of it. That boy is a P-I-G Pig T Shirt will trigger a remembrance of this lovely scene in anyone that is anybody. And, that my friend is how you get your network started. Soon you’ll be repeated truth, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. And you’ll be smiling because you’ll be in a large house with an expensive vehicle and a trophy wife, and a cushy job, and it will all be because you wore this shirt around town for a few years.

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What a pretentious bird we have on our hands here. Thinks he’s so smart. Knows obscure bands from the 60s…oh wait they played the Super Bowl just a while ago for God knows what reason, but he doesn’t watch sports so he doesn’t know that. He has a Magic Bus 45 and he thinks he’s discovered The Shit. Wait, ’til I blow all my other hipster friends’ minds. Oh wait…they’ll show no emotion through their just for looks horn-rimmed glasses. They’ll just say that’s nice and rifle through their satchel for nothing.

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Catwork Orange T Shirt

by on April 30, 2011

A little play on the cat meme on the Internet combined with one of the most vile but critically-acclaimed movies ever made. Stanley Kubrick called put this one together nicely. I don’t even remember the movie, except for the sick in my stomach feeling I got watching it. The author of the novel, Anthony Burgess, said he came upon the name thinking about a beautiful organic, aromatic, visually appealing fruit, combined with a cold-hard man made machine, artificial construct like a clock, which I think is a prety perfect metaphor of living in the 21st Century. What am I Freshman English student at the community college?

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Hey, sometimes a statement of faith has a very powerful effect on your life. It can clear your thinking and allow you to move on to other issues. Let me explain. If you are back and forth, wishy washy on the existence of UFOs, Bigfoot, and the Loch Ness monster you may never get any clarity on the issue. You may always be bumbling in that gray area, looking for evidence, reading conflicting reports, having unfruitful conversations on message boards. These mysteries have the potential to consume you, especially if you can’t decide one way or the other. If you just step back and say to yourself, I’m just drawing a line in the sand and say that I believe in all three of these phenomena…so be it. Then, you know where you stand. You have a solid point of view, and you can use your brainspace for other important things like deciding who your favorite is on American Idol.

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This is a super random shirt. You have your cute panda just hanging out eating bamboo, looking sweet and cuddly (of course, he’s a bear and would probably chase you down and rip your face off if you got within 14 feet of it). And, then all of a sudden that black and white fuzzy cuteness attracts aliens, and they zip down in their flying saucer (or to be more interplanetarily correct…space craft), and beam up Hua Sheng or Sheng Hua, or Tai Shan, I forgot this particular animal’s name. This whole abduction was in the news, but then quickly covered up.

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Sometimes you have to blow out the cobwebs with absurd randomness and this Monkey Chandelier T Shirt fits the bill. First, that has to be one of those massive chandeliers in a huge hall with about 6000 little sparklie prisms casting that champagne colored light onto the hardwood floor and the fancy, well-coiffed people mingling below. I say it has to be massive because it dwarfs the monkey. Now, I suppose the monkey could be any number of sizes. I don’t know my monkeys that well, but I know that some are tiny and some are pretty large.

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Everybody likes the Einstein. He had style, a sense of humor, great hair, a conscience, and I hear he was also kind of smart and figured out some cool stuff that continues to help move science and technology forward. Mashup this larger than life figure with the underground graffiti stencil art movement and you have a dynamic shirt that makes you look super cool and smart and interesting and basically irresistibly desirable. Sound like something you might want? Then go ahead and plunk down your money for the Einstein Graffiti Stencil T Shirt because it’s the right thing to do for your image.

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This poor little piggy has been so traumatized on the farm by this chicken hawk, bird of prey, evil cardinal, I don’t even know what…but the family is shelling out like $95 a session to get that pigs head back on straight. And, he’s having a tough time laying on the couch, recounting his fears and experiences, cry like a baby, all the while this Freud dude is cooly taking notes and asking probing questions.

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This polar bear is enjoying a cheese burger if I’m not mistaken and that makes him an omnivore, because that’s both meat and vegetable going on right there. Of course, this I’m An Om Nom Nom Ivore T Shirt has a second layer and that’s the whole nom nom nom phenomenon that is supposed to represent eating vigorously with much gusto. It certainly fits in this instance, because that burger is damn tasty even if his mom made it.

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