When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go. And it don’t matter if it’s the grim reaper or a cloaked carton of Moo shu Gai Pan or a the platypus of death. You’re still gettin’ taken out. No joke. No negotiation.

So, get your stuff straight, your bucket list checked off, your million little pieces collected, your chi centered, your chakras aligned, you rotten veggies removed from the crisper and put on some clean underwear without holes.

You can never be too prepared to go 6-feet under.

But mostly you need to get yourself the Platypus of Death tshirt

This is funny after you go to the dictionary and figure out what solipsistic means. Of course, I’ll let you in on the secret. It’s a disease one can catch from excessive flea bites. The crazy thing is you thought that was phlebitis, which is actually a type of insect genus, revered in organic vermiculture circles for being full of “good little critters” that kill “bad little critters.”

Man, I feel like I just earned my professorship tenuritis up in here. And, you my friend just got a degree from tshirt groove U.

Go get Is it solipsistic in here, OR IS IT JUST ME? tshirt

You ever seen a true Mandolin hero wailin’? If you have to think about it, you never have, ‘cuz if you’ve been in the presence of a Mandolin hero doing her thing, we’ll you’ve witnessed REAL magic.

It’s like mystical shit. None of this David Blaine weakness. Anyway, celebrate the power of magic mandolin music by getting the Mandolin Hero shirt.

The more mandolin players you can encourage, the better this world will be. Do it for the children. Do it for the ever-loving children and the next seven generations and for that Olympic diver that did the belly flop from 10 meters.

Generally I think genetically modified food is scary and that big corporations should keep their stinkin’ devil-claws out of the farming business, but I have to make an exception for purples. These are way out cool and I’m certain quite delicious. Like a mix of concord grapes and a tangelo.

If you can’t find these fine new fruits in your nearest market, settle for the next best thing: the purples tshirt.

I have to admit, I’m totally into these Band Hero tshirts from Torso Pants. And this flaming hot, French Horn really gets me. When you want to be the sophisticate in the band, go for the French Horn, because it’s way more classy than the tuba and not as suggestive as the trombone.

Get French Horn Hero Tshirt because you play with pride.