Here’s how this cool little shirt works. You walk around with Updog on your chest and it totally looks like it means something, comes from some hilarious movie or is the name of a terrific little video that’s gone viral on YouTube.

People will be naturally curious and they will ask you: “What’s updog?”

And, of course, you will reply: “Not much. What’s up with you?”

And then they will lightly hit themselves up the side of the head with the palm on their favored hand, and you will roll around on the ground in an epileptic-like fit of hilarity. Now, the only trouble with this comes in a cry-wolf type of scenario.

You do this enough and word gets around. You’re little shtick loses its spontaneity and when you roll on the ground in a spastic fit, no one will pay any mind. Of course, if this just happens to be the time when the spastic fit is actually a seizure, then you’re in big trouble and your joke comes back to bite you in the ass. ‘cuz not even the paramedics will take a closer look at the jokester.

So, buy the updog tshirt, but be very careful how you use it

Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert! If you haven’t seen There Will Be Blood, starring a maniacal Daniel Day-Lewis, then you probably shouldn’t even look at this tshirt. This is the essence of this movie. An encapsulation of a ruthless oil man and the devastation of everything in his way, including a fruity, weird kid drawn to the ministry.

On a side note: You’d be surprised how many murders have taken place in in-home bowling alleys. Happens all the time.  You could call it an epidemic. Some strange metaphysical mixture of absurdity, drunkenness and poor frame-by-frame bowling scores. You just don’t hear about it, because high-powered lawyers, keep their well-heeled clients out of the negative spotlight and in the clear.

Get I Drink Your Milkshake Tshirt right now.

Sometimes you need Public Service Announcements just like this to reel people back in from their drug-induced mania and splash them with some cold, hard, cold water truth to set them on the straight and narrow terra firma.

Certainly, as Sir Isaac Newton can attest, gravity is not just a good idea. Thank the lord, ‘cuz no way I could get anything done in a day, if I continually floated into the upper atmosphere.

Offer yourself and your circle of influence the very important reminder with this Gravity It’s The Law Tshirt

The best part of this tshirt is the mouse finger pointing at the plastic mouse imposter.

Who’s eating the cheese? Who’s chewing holes in the wall? Who’s making grandma move quicker than she has in years, jumping on the dining room table after seeing the real deal mouse scurry along the floor boards.

Forget this computing bullshit. Forget all this fly-by-night buzz and computer stuff. Our flesh and blood rodent will be back on top before you know it.

Right? You know it. And you’re gonna show it with Imposter Mouse tshirt.

This is so damn geeky I don’t even know what to say, except that whenever a dialog between pi and the imaginary unit can be captured for all to see, you have to share with the world.

Pi is being kind of brazen if you think about it. This imaginary unit fellow is actually one of only two answers to the quadratic equation. And that’s big time. Of course, pi ain’t no slouch, so you gotta have respect for both sides and hope it doesn’t turn into a knock-down brawl that ruins the exquisite reputations of both.

If you’ve read this far, you’re a math geek and it’s a no brainer that you need get real be rational tshirt.