Sometimes you need to make it especially clear what you’re intentions are, or at least what you’re willing to explore. Sometimes people are too coy, or shy, or polite, and when the black book fails to conjure a successful booty call, then the next best thing is this DTF T Shirt, because as you enter the bar, you are telling any potential copulation partner that you are indeed down to fuck.
fuck
The thing with these aggressive, offensive t shirts is that people don’t think you’re really talking to them through the shirt. In fact, they probably imagine you are aiming this vindictive stuff at people THEY DON’T LIKE. So it makes them a little giddy to see something like this I Have Tourettes, Not Really But Fuck You Anyways T Shirt, because they think you’re sticking it to their enemies. So, you have to be patient with the people that come up to you and tell them that actually the shirt is especially for them. They’ll be taken aback and start incoherent mumblings, but they’ll get the message, and ultimately they may change their ways and become decent citizens of planet Earth.
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This is a sneaky way to get the whole Down to Fuck (DTF) thing out there without actually saying Fuck, because Busted Tees throws a little misdirection out there by putting a couple of fey fencers on the shirt doing their thrusts.
This is the shirt you choose to wear when you’re giving that stupid presentation. You have a button down on top of it, because you’re all professional and shit, and when you finish your speech or Powerpoint from the dais, you open up your button down and reveal this Can I Get a Fuck Yeah T Shirt. All of a sudden people who were sleeping when you were offering them your finest graphs and correlations and projections, see this burst of pizzazz and they’re standing up and pumping their fists. Fuck Yeah!
Hey God would never exhibit wrath toward the first dude he created. Adam was so innocent and pristine when he first got plopped on Earth. He was God’s guinea pig. How could God have so much anger toward him that early. I mean I can see this playing out with Vlad the Impaler, evil dictators throughout history, every single person that has worked on Wall St. for the last 15 years, my ex wife, the entire C-Suite and Board of Directors at Monsanto, and Scott Walker, but the first dude he hadn’t had time to fuck up. Eve wasn’t even there yet to lead him to the path of iniquity.
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Why does Busted Tees call this the text swype t shirt, when in reality it is the map out typing the word fuck t shirt. Busted Tees may pride themselves on being a somewhat family friendly online retailer, so that’s maybe why they don’t call this shirt by its true name. Of course, I have also seen fuck on other shirts and it wasn’t cleverly disguised, so I guess I’m sort of confused. Or maybe Text Swype means something and I should Google it to make sure I’m not being totally pop culturally dense. Well, everybody already knows I don’t know anything about any of these t shirts that I have made my life for every waking hour, but, still, I’m going to put in 13 seconds of research. Sit tight.
I admit I liked the movie. Carrell and Arkin were funny. The story was cute and snappy and quirky. It was worth the time spent watching it. And the prorated cost of my Netflix subscription. However, I also understand the people that thought it was to sappy and pretentious and a little stupid. Like the girl winning the pageant or contest or whatever, when really, they should have steered clear of the whole bullshit, superficial scene. Which is where this Little Miss Fucking Sunshine T Shirt comes in.
What a sweet bit of sentiment specifically for Valentine’s Day. Heart felt. Warm. Nice. And, if it really gets random folks of the opposite sex or same sex if you swing that way, then that’s even more romantic, especially if you can forego the chocolates, flowers, and expensive dinners, then this Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I’m Down to Fuck What About You T Shirt is truly the most lovely Valentine’s treat ever. Do you agree?
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The thing that is amazing about this shirt is the size of the scripty font. It’s huge. Basically, you have the biggest “fuck” possible on your shirt. So, don’t wear this around the kids, please. They’re not ready to process this sort of edgy business. Now, if you’re 32-years-old or older then please enjoy the obscene contradiction and make your 32 and over friends laugh. Under 32, then I certainly hope you are not even reading this, and if you are, I’m sorry. You should go to confession. And, tell you mom, and probably go shovel the snowy sidewalks of your own volition, just to sort of make up for your transgression.
This is an acceptable shirt offering from T Shirt Hell. Yes, it has the “F” word but I don’t have a problem with that, as long as it’s not worn in front of children. In fact, I love the “F” word in all its usage cases and rich variety of tenses and parts of speech. Do you love the “F” word. Actually, I guess a more important question is do you like the I Fucking Love to Cuddle T Shirt, which gains its humorous power from the juxtaposition of a sweet warm fuzzy thing like cuddling with the word fucking. That’s the joke and it’s effective.
The only redeeming factor in this truly horrible and offensive shirt is that the group it discriminates against doesn’t know that it is, because they can’t read it. Other than that, no qualities worthy of this Fuck the Color Blind T Shirt existing on this great green earth.
Oh, no it’s the blurgle pixilated censhorship of anything inappropriate for the airwaves. Who would have thought this fine family website would have been blurgled? Man, I’m not sure if I’m proud or sad or confused, or ready to live in Estonia.
