Sorry Boys Chelsea’s Off the Market

by on July 29, 2010

Yep. That’s right Chelsea Clinton is getting married, so all you men hoping to woo President Clinton’s little darling, you’re out of luck. Go cry your eyes out in the closet and…Get. Over. It. The well-known beauty is marrying some investment banker named Marc Mezvinsky, who probably stole taxpayer money and old people’s retirements in the banking free for all we’re still suffering from. Or maybe he was one of the good ones…ha ha ha. Good ones…that’s a good one. Anyway, maybe Chelsea has a great personality, because she seems to have Hilary’s pastiness and Bill’s misshapen nose. Nonetheless, let’s celebrate for the couple as they scrape together a couple three million greenbacks to throw a suitable wedding.

Headline Shirts doesn’t use real headlines for their shirts, so you’re not going to see this story on one of their shirts any time soon. So stop asking.

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