Shop Review: Banished Shirts Propels You To Enlightenment

by on March 24, 2012

When I think of Banished I get the thought of exile in my mind. Like if you wear Banished Shirts you will be exiled to a really horrible place…like some spot in rural Arkansas or something. Using the word banished in your name really puts people in the frame of mind that they’re probably breaking the law just perusing the catalog. And, maybe they are.

And maybe Google will alert Homeland Security and a SWAT team will bulldoze into your house and scream “get on the floor” and “back away from the computer” and “you’re coming with us” and you’ll never be heard from again. That scenario is quite possible by simply surfing the website. What happens when you actually pull out your wallet and buy a couple of these terrible, terrible, bad, awful, terrible shirts? Half of the people in the Christian Coalition have their heads explode and you get charged for like 1325 counts of 1st degree murder, and you get solitary confinement for 86 concurrent life sentences.

But, maybe you’ll learn something about inner peace as you squat in your cold cell, and maybe that’s all that really matters in the end.

So, basically, what I’m trying to say is that you should probably get a couple Banished Shirts (just don’t wear them around children), so you can achieve a lasting, deep, life-altering inner peace.


All kidding aside, this shirt company looks like they’re trying to do the Zappos-like over-and-beyond customer service deal, with 60-day return policy, free shipping both ways and full refunds (if you need to return something).


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