Santa Rubbed His Balls on Your Toothbrush Tee Shirt

by on December 20, 2009

Wow. Are you honored or disgusted when you discover this. It’s so confusing. The first eight years of your life, you believed Santa was real. Then, you catch your Mom wrapping presents and your Dad eating the cookies on the plate left for jolly Saint Nick. And, your whole conception of  Christmas, and festivity, and even the trust of your parents is blown apart.

Then, you start talking to people in the know, in the clinics you’ve checked yourself into after a series of mishaps, missteps and bad fucking choices that have cascaded through your life after your shocking Xmas discovery, and they start to relate the cover up of the cover up of the cover up, like the whole story is a series of Tom Clancy Russian espionage dolls. Yes, actually, that “real” Santa, that your parents faked, actually is real, but instead of being benevolent is a sort of dirty punker/prankster that would just as soon scrub his ball hairs with your Sesame Street toothbrush, than merrily work with elves to make all your materialistic holiday desires come true.

So, now you stand at the crossroads. It’s hard to tell what’s what and who’s who, and probably the only sane thing you can do is wear this Santa Rubbed His Balls on Your Toothbrush Shirt.

T shirt Hell has made many strong men weep.

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