Man, this is tough news to break to the kids. It comes out in the summer. You tell ’em. Yeah he’s getting insulin shots…Mrs. Claus or his favorite elf jams that big needle in his ass. He’s on the caveman diet (except he’s always cheating). And, he hopes to have all of his limbs and eyesight when Xmas rolls around so he can deliver the goods. But, it’s not a sure thing. Yep, it’s true. Kids like you did it too him. It’s not like he can take a pass on all those damn cookies, eggnog, and fudge. He’s gotta pack it down to look grateful. Horrible for a guy, especially at his age. I’m trying to warn you, so you’ll be emotionally prepared either way. Now, what was it you wanted from Santa so I can deliver the message.
