Isla Nublar T Shirt

by on March 27, 2013

isla-nublar-t-shirt

Get This Shirt from Busted Tees

Isla Nublar is, of course, where Jurassic Park was to be located but there was a little incident, which became a big PR nightmare and the amazing theme park idea went down the toilet. Classic movie. Now, can anybody tell me what all the locations on that map mean?

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between-the-devil-and-the-deep-blue-sea-t-shirt
Get This Shirt From Breathe Atlantic

Is this a good place to be? Seems like it might be kind of exciting. But, I don’t know anything about the sea, and the most exciting thing I have going is making that left turn into the parking lot at work WITHOUT FLICKING ON MY TURN SIGNAL. So, I might be romanticizing the dark mysteries envelope a phrase like between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea.

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move-over-coffee-this-is-a-job-for-alcohol-t-shirtGet this Shirt From Five Finger Tees

Sometimes you need the jolt of caffeine to get your mind crankin’. Sometimes you need to loosen the tongue and release the inhibitions. I do it a little different than most. To work up the courage I chug my Fair Trade Costa Rican and then jump up on the girl I’ve zeroed in on and overwhelm her with manic, spastic ENERGY. Then when it’s time to really sell the client on the upgrade, boy, I take a coupla three shots of grain alcohol.

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albert-einstein-t-shirt

Get This Shirt From Five Finger Tees

Now this is a tribute shirt I can get behind. Albert Einstein. Wise man. Brilliant scientist. And, of course, the hair. Rarely do you get an Einstein tee without ridiculous words or him sticking his tongue out, or him writing nonsense on a chalkboard. This is just straight up love for the man and his beautiful contribution to society…the work on the development of the a-bomb not withstanding.

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U Mad Bro T Shirt

by on March 26, 2013

u-mad-bro-t-shirtGet this Shirt from Five Finger Tees

Classic meme. I love the simplicity of the shirt. Cool bubble letter font. Now, I don’t suggest you start poking and prodding at people to get them riled up just so you can point at your shirt. However, if someone is being a complete douche and you put them in their place and they’re brooding, then you probably need to unzip the hoodie and ask them the big question.

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widowmaker-hose-t-shirt

Get this Tee From Headline Shirts

That’s a serious hose attachment. It’s not something you can just go to Home Depot to pick up. You have to have a license to carry that thing around your yard, and even with that license you cannot take it beyond a 25 foot perimeter of your immediate property.

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anakat-fencewalker-t-shirt

Get This Shirt From Saucewear

Every time I see one of these cat movie mashups from Captain Feline, I marvel at how amazing the design is. If you love the cats and Star Wars, I’m not sure how you still haven’t purchased this tee yet. You were born to wear this one. It is your destiny. I mean look at that Death Star subtly floating in the background. And that flowing cape.

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there-is-no-spoon-t-shirt

Get This Shirt From Snorg Tees

I think this shirt should be called Neospoonin’ but Snorg calls it There is No Spoon. That makes me think of the kid bending it, and not the slow mo bullet dodging that Neo is so adept at. Nonetheless, it’s sort of fun to think that the spoon was dodging dozens of little bullets, while that kid was holding it.

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Free Hugs H2O T Shirt

by on March 25, 2013

free-hugs-h2o-t-shirt

Get this Shirt From Snorg Tees

That’s one way to explain science. Break it down in terms of loving relationships. And then the little oxygen atoms hug the hydrogen atom and the resulting love molecule is water. Yay! Of course, I don’t ever get hugged, and I’m terrible at relationships, so this makes less sense to me than the straight science text book.

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grammar-is-not-fun-t-shirt

Get this Shirt From Snorg Tees

Diagramming sentences was the worst thing on Earth, and I liked English class. That was just not the part I enjoyed or excelled at. I do like a little hangman at the end. Wish I would have thought of that back in the day when I was learning sentence structure. Of course, I’d probably be unemployed right now. It’s the smallest twists of fate that can lead you down the darkest roads.

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darth-vader-dunks-death-star-t-shirt

Get This Shirt From 80s Tees

Darth Vader seems to have a pretty great vertical. He can really get up in the air. He’s palming the Death Star, which looks orange (probably because of some strange angle and the light of the sun bouncing off). He’s got pretty great form. I wonder if he’ll stand over the defender and taunt him after he slams it? Seems like a Vader move.

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dr-mccoy-trust-me-im-a-doctor-t-shirt

Get This Shirt from 80s Tees

Have a medical degree does garner you a modicum of trust. Being a practicing doctor for years makes you very trusted. And, being a well-known doctor on TV like Dr. McCoy makes you the most trusted man on Earth, just about. Dr. McCoy has my trust. How about you? If so, you should probably prove it by purchasing this shirt an wearing it during a 7 day Star Trek marathon.

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