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Hot school girl! Poor school girl! What’s she gonna do. All that dilligent school work gone. The Wolfman ate it and no one believes her. They just think she’s a lazy slut, who skips doing the work, thinking she can just get by on her looks for the rest of her life.

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To tell the truth, whenever I carve pumpkins it does feel like I’m committing a crime, stabbing a big knife into this Halloween creature’s face. But, just like with killing squirrels, I get over it. Just kidding. I never get over stabbing a pumpkin. I just stuff the pain and fear and disgust deep down. It will manifest itself as ass cancer in 20 years. Just kidding. It will be heart disease.

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Mello Kitty T Shirt

by on October 20, 2012

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This particular kitty wakes and bakes and is always mellow. However, one thing I have to ask right now. I hear the quality of the pot has changed drastically in the last 10 years. Back in the day it wasn’t as high quality but it also was predictable. You got mellow. These days I hear, depending on the strain, that you make actually get amped up after smoking or eating or breath stripping the weed. Is this true? I get all my information from About.com.

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Puff Puff Pass T Shirt

by on October 20, 2012

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Puff Puff Pass is a game or even an unwritten rule for groups of people smoking on the same doob. Take a couple puffs and pass it along to the next person. You don’t want to Bogart the joint, but you also don’t want to short change yourself.

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I think I missed this design when it came out or maybe I ignored it because it was too soon after the Aurora shooting at the Batman movie, but it really is a nice dig at the stupidity of the Hollywood copyright cartel, that rules a large part of the culture. Those super annoying ads…you wouldn’t steal a car, would you. Well you wouldn’t download a movie from the Internet either. Good logic, except that I’m guessing that tidy little movie executive is still going to be able to drive to the fucking office tomorrow, the day after I file share Transformers, whereas, that poor sucker that got his car stolen will probably have to take the bus or get a ride. Sorta different. A little bit.

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I love this design. Look at that dude all scrunched up, sitting on a piano bench, playing that normal-sized piano. The lady is in her nice dress singing, an artful twist in her torso, and hand elegantly on the piano, hinting at another sip from the martini. Classy! And, then there’s the wordplay aspect, which is down at the basest level of humor. The juxaposition works in my mind. Of course, I’m eternally a teenager at heart, what with the strict Christian upbringing that stunted my natural growth and caused me to freeze up solid in immaturity. Wait, did I just type that. What is this a counselling session. That dude has at least 15 inches of tumescence waiting for the chanteuse and that’s all there is to it.

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Animal Masks

by on October 19, 2012

 

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The animal masks are maybe more creepy than any other costume. Hatchet in the head. Those weird all white contacts. The classic diarrhea pants. Sandusky. Yes, those are all horrible costumes that send a shiver up the spine, but there’s just something about the horse and pig mask that’s really super eerie and scary, like spending time with David Lynch.

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Beardski T Shirt

by on October 19, 2012

Get This Beardski from Busted Tees

Ski mask and fake beard is pretty much a great costume for Halloween. It’s all you need. You could wear anything with that and you’re going to look stupendous. Plus, the end of October is damn cold where I live (Milwaukee), so the warmth of that 12 inch fleece beard is going to be appreciated.

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Awesome-o T Shirt

by on October 19, 2012

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Beautiful South Park episode with Cartman fucking around with Butters. Pretending he’s a robot called Awesome-o. Brutal. Funny. What a special show and an amazing run. Can you believe it? Sustained brilliance.

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Vader T Shirt

by on October 19, 2012

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You could do a whole lot worse than stepping out this Halloween with a Vader t-shirt on. This one doesn’t come with a lightsaber or mask, but just you and the shirt and maybe some pants, and you’ll be appreciated on the best night of the year. You’ll get those knowing nods, the opposite sex will want to get with you, and 85% of your heart’s desires will be fulfilled.

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Never Surrender T Shirt

by on October 18, 2012

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If you wave a white flag, you surrender. If you wear a shirt with a white flag with the Rule The World (RTW) logo, then that’s the opposite of surrending, which is kicking ass. So, who you gonna be!

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Get This Tee From 6 Dollar Shirts

Can you run it in less than 12 seconds? That is the question when you enter the 35th Annual Kessel Run. And, most likely you can’t, because you’re a mere mortal. That kind of time can only be achieved by demi-gods like Hans Solo.

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