Dr Who Bow Tie T Shirt

by on December 8, 2012

Get This Tee From 6 Dollar Shirts

Hey, you gotta dig this bow tie t-shirt. Usually, when you see a bow tie on a shirt, it’s part of a tuxedo tee gag or a mockery of Al Franken, but this is straight up Dr. Who. And, Who can get enough of Doctor Who paraphanalia? Not me. Get this shirt and you’ll be the baddess ass on the block.

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Feline the Grouch T Shirt

by on December 8, 2012

Get This Tee from 6 Dollar Shirts

Why am I not able to picture cats dumpster diving? I’m sure the alley cats do it all the time. Half eaten filets of fish. Spoiled milk. Etc. But, they’re so clean, it’s hard to imagine them diving in with gusto without having a big caution flag waving in the back of their head. Jeezus, I can’t do this look at all those snot tissues, and dog shit bags. I clean myself with my tongue.

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Get This Tee from 6 Dollar Shirts

A movie from 1984 featured on a popular t-shirt site in 2012. Life is strange. The Internet is strange. It’s weird to get old, and not really know the old stuff that still has legs today with the kids. Ha Ha. Just kidding. I’m on top of all this shit and this shirt is definitely something you want to get to celebrate the campiness of the The Last Starfighter.

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Certainly a limited time offer. No one rides forever. I like that it is a skeleton beckoning, like a carnival barker, for you to come enjoy life. It’s an invitation and a warning, that there’s gonna be some sublime good times, but it’s also going to suck a bit, and you’re going to die alone.

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This is a funny little scene. Dude was trying to recapture his youth and tool around in the little plastic toy car he had when he was four. Didn’t turn out so well. He got so stuck he couldn’t get out, so the lady across the street called the fire department and they came to the rescue with the handy dandy jaws of life tool.

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Party Animal T Shirt

by on December 7, 2012

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That’s like a bull body with the head of a man’s hand configured in the devil sign. Pretty exotic beast. You gotta be pretty special to properly wear this shirt. If you’re just run of the mill, 9-5, 2.2 kids, Toyota Camry, then this probably isn’t for you, because you might not be able to back it up. You have to have somethin’ somethin’ if you wear this badass design.

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S&M Pinata T Shirt

by on December 7, 2012

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Riding crop, leather, chains, buckles, spikes, zippers and earrings…this little pinata is ready to get busy. Hate to see what comes out when you hit too hard. Different kind of candy if you know what I mean. Wait, what? You don’t know what I mean. Well, a different kind of candy, like maybe baked goods in lycra and chocolate mousse in latex.

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Martini Gal T Shirt

by on December 6, 2012

Get This Shirt from Sugar Pie Tees

Hey, sometimes you gotta just let the hair down and have someone pour you a martini. The, you need to keep going back to the barkeep, and asking for more until you’re spinning room drunk. Then you need to sloppy kiss strangers and make little throw ups on their pant legs. ‘cuz life is short and tension builds up. Gotta blow off some steam. DO IT Martini Gal!

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Now there’s something that isn’t talked about enough. The separation of God and sports. It is pretty ludicrous to point to the heavens after you successfully run out a bunt single, ‘cuz in a seriousness…God doesn’t give a shit about your sporty efforts. True story. In fact, she gets so fed up with being called out as a fair weather fan, she has started flipping players off at stadiums across the nation.

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No. No. No. We’re not talking about Roe V. Wade and abortion here. We’re talking about a very odd Japanese gameshow that Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade competed in with Roe, the mobile salmon egg roll. There were all sorts of dubious athletic adventures in which they competed fairly evenly, but it was kind of cooked. It came down to the last event and lo and behold what should it be, but basketball…a game that Wade plays professionally. Still it was close, the Roe could ball, but DWade prevailed in the end.

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And the punchline…dude, we totally forgot. Because for real POWs and MIAs the phrase is never forget. But, if there are POWs and MIAs in the War on Drugs, the army you’re rolling with is a bunch of meth heads and stoners, and they totally forget stuff. While both destructive, the wars have very different vibes.

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Karate Chimp T Shirt

by on December 6, 2012

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The form is pure Ralph Macchio for sure. Just like Mr. Miyagi (God rest his soul) taught him. But, there are other strong karate chimpanzees in the world, so you have to keep working, keep fighting, and keep getting better. Buying this shirt is a contract with the universe, stating that, “yes, you certainly understand your responsibility.” Go get ’em.

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