Masked Turtles T Shirt

by on October 1, 2010

I am way too lazy to figure out if this means something. I know the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles looked similar to these guys except that they were super buff and seemed pretty much like humans with turtle costumes on. These seem more like a kid saw the movie, was inspired and painstakingly cut out some tiny masks out of felt, then went on a box turtle hunt. Once he found four, he dressed them up in the masks and stacked them on top of one another.

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This is pretty cool, and I dig the little cupcake and muffin talking to each other, but I can’t see the difference between the two cool characters. Actually, the one that has sprinkles looks like the cupcake with sweet red frosting and sprinkles, so why is he calling the muffin “cake?” The muffin, looks like a nice healthy muffin with maybe a little toasted oats or nuts on top, says the correct thing. Muffin much. He’s a muffin. Just a slight bit of confusion with the What’s Up Cake Muffin Much T Shirt, but nothing that wold hold me back from purchasing it. It’s too nice in look and flavor and rhythm to ignore.

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Well, it’s easy for a man of Shakespeare’s talents to think that the shit just writes itself. I mean, since he’s totally in the flow, doing what he was put on earth to do, it probably felt like it was just flowing out of his pen without any sort of thought of effort.

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Greg Giraldo RIP

by on September 29, 2010

So I’m following all these comedians on Twitter, and listening to their podcasts and not once do I ever hear about this dude Greg Giraldo, until he dies of an overdose. Bullshit. What was I supposed to be following Last Comic Standing?

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What’s happening here is that someone is reading the shirt you’re wearing, so you’re tweeting that somebody is reading your shirt. Then they get a little cutesy and say Less than 10 seconds ago from life. So, basically, you have this subtly brilliant Twitter shirt that takes on all kinds of the issues that have bubbled to the surface since the micro blogging platform blew up. Like who gives a shit about the micro details of your life. And, maybe you should enjoy the moment rather than tweeting the moment and letting real life, yet again, slip from your grasp. Intriguing, eh?

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WTF…is this? Okay all you kiddies, gather around the stage and we’re going to have a little cutesy toddler time. We have a puppy in a suit and a kitty in a tie. They each have brief cases and they’re totally ready to take on any DUI or criminal case you may be wound up in. Killed your wife? The cuties will get you off with an insanity plea. Burned the orphanage to the ground. The little cuddly poos will frame the hard-working school teacher that commuted past the site daily for 9 and a half years. Yessirree. Crack team Rex & Whiskers Attorneys at Awwwwwww are on the job so get the t shirt, and if you spill hot coffee in your lap because you’re trying to sober up after that long night carousing with that cheap hooker, well these little sweetums will sue the fuck out of the corporation that sold the beverage to you. And, win, or you don’t pay.

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Not sure why a statement of truth ends up on a supposedly funny t shirt. Sarcasm truly is the best thing ever. It’s way better than dirty sexy time, and forget about cheese cake, sarcasm takes that cake, too.

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I don’t really get this shirt. The diagrams are weird: I’ll wear what my rib cage – why is it pointing there? Is it funny? The way this is only remotely useful is it’s a conversation starter at a bar. You get a subtle “take off your shirt” message in there on the first impression. Either they’re repulsed or intrigued. You’re zeroing in on the ones you have a chance with quickly. Narrowing done the field with great speed and accuracy, and, boom, the ONE that responds vivaciously, and has a good flirtatious sense of humor, ends up spending the night.

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Best Penalty Kick Ever

by on September 28, 2010

This has nothing to do with funny t shirts, but it’s worth a post nonetheless. Not sure how I missed this earlier this month, but it is truly awesome. On a penalty kick the goalie guesses right, but forgets to take into account the phenomenon of back spin. I love the chest pounding celebration as the ball rolls in. Beautiful. Sorry I can’t tell you who’s playing. I think it’s the Moroccan League. Dig it:

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I Like Turtles T Shirt

by on September 28, 2010

Lot’s of people like turtles, so you’re going to connect with a lot of new friends if you add this shirt to your rotation. I say go for it. Turtles are worth it. They’re the embodiment of slow and steady, and if we’re talking about snapping turtles, they can snip your thumb off with no problem. That’s so cool. So, get the I Like Turtles T shirt, if you like turtles. Otherwise, don’t get it because there’s no sense going through life as a fraud. Right?

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Katy Perry in Sexy Elmo T Shirt animated GIF. Wow!

Is that a funny t shirt? I guess if you have the entire back story, with Sesame Street shit canning a bit where Katy Perry and Elmo hang out, because Katy’s outfit is too risque, then the low cut Elmo t shirt with the bountiful cleavage does hit a pretty good comedy note.

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Venture Industries T Shirt

by on September 27, 2010

I’m so confused. This Venture Industries is a fictional umbrella organization that includes an advertising firm called Team Venture. And, these things exist in the The Venture Bros., which seems to be an animated television series on the Cartoon Network’s adult swim.

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