Hey those balcony guys Statler and Waldorf were hilarious back in the day with their evil brand of make fun, cut down, and general sarcastic humor. Of course, not sure how well it holds up to today. Then again, the Muppets Show was for kids, so how good did it have to be.

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You have zombies and blood and a t shirt. What more could you really want in life, especially with Halloween sneaking up on us like Chester the Molester in the fog. Where did this zombie fixation start? I’m sure there were ancient tales that referenced zombie-like creatures…the undead that feasted on live people brains. And, then some schticky horror film picked up the genre, knocked it out of the ballpark, and all of a sudden everybody has zombie fever for the next 9 and a half years.

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Baby Gaga T Shirt

by on October 11, 2010

Little wordplay here. Baby sounds like lady and gaga is a baby noise, so why not go with the Baby Gaga. Plus, the whacky white archway hair and the sunglasses and this baby is doomed to be vacuous and weird just like Lady Gaga herself. Is it me, or does that women crap out like 3 albums a month. You know at that pace, there’s nothing but gold being printed.

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Can someone help me out here? I don’t know what any of this means. Apparently there are green men roving the streets in Philadelphia, at least in the fictional Philadelphia of the Always Sunny in Philadelphia TV show. He does crazy shenanigans, and people get fired up because he’s in a skin tight lycra body suit. Is this part of the Philly gay parade?

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Well there are a few things going for this shirt. It is empowering those among us suffering from small mammary syndrome (if they have an incredible buttocks). And, if the proper body type is wearing this Who Needs Big Tits When You Have an Ass Like This T Shirt, then that brings laughter to any engagement, and a lot of closer inspection of the back side.

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This is stone cold. Girl comes up sees you’re offering free hugs on the front of your shirt. She’s friendly and sweet, so she goes ahead and takes you up on this. Meanwhile, the 30,000 people standing behind you (somehow you got on stage at a Slayer concert and got one of their backup singers to hug you…yes, they have backup singers now…they’re old and can’t hit the high notes…thought they’d sexy up the show too), enjoy the inference that this chick is a slut, which in reality she probably is since she’s a backup singer to Slayer.

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We have actors and professional wrestlers as governors. We’ve had an actor as President. France and Italy elect porn stars. Al Franken is now a Senator after a nice career as a comedian. And, of course, George W. was a landscaper before taking his seat in the oval office, so there’s nothing wrong with campaigning for Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, who both host snarky faux news shows that tend to be funny. They seem to be clear thinking, bold, and brilliant dudes, so why not put them on the Democratic ticket, and take the conch in 2012.

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Unathletic T Shirt

by on October 9, 2010

Styled like the Oakland Athletics logo, this is a fine example of flipping a commonly seen image on its head, and making it humorous, so that you chuckle to yourself, while you sit in your miserable cube and the other cube prisoners wondering what sort of fucking off your doing rather than getting your work done. Little do they know you’re enjoying some of the finest t shirt humor going from our friends at Busted Tees.

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In the one and a half minutes I spent researching what the hell this shirt means, I didn’t come up with a very definitive answer, but I’m pretty sure it’s some Twilight (they have sparkly men?) vs. Harry Potter spoiler alert (defeats Voldemort). So, in this intense debate, if you agree wit hthe Real Men Don’t Sparkle Real Men Defeat Dark Wizards T Shirt, then you dig Harry Potter more than Edward Cullen, or some such thing.

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This sort of balances out all the hate math gets in general. I know I hate math. Actually, I like to do simple math in my head…a lot. But, anything where you have to write stuff down and use formulas and remember equations, and how to divide fractions, and I’m out of my element and I hate it. So, it makes me feel like the world is a more balanced place when a shirt like this Dear Math I Love You Infinity T Shirt comes out.

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I haven’t seen the movie It’s Kind of a Funny Story starring my man crush Zach Galifianakis, and some scrubs, but the trailer looks like vintage ZG and some other interesting story lines to boot. So, I’m watching this movie when it hits the Midwest theaters. Who am I kidding? I’m not going to see this movie ’til it hits Netflix because I never leave the house. I’m almost forgot that for a second, but then I came back to my right mind.

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Headline Shirts kind of stepping out of its comfort zone with this religious and football themed shirt. I applaud them. It takes guts to try new things, especially when you’re comfortably kicking butt with your regular funny, political, irreverent stuff. Well, I guess this is still pretty irreverent, and maybe even sacrilegious in certain circles. Mess with God in any way and you’re asking for trouble, and this particular Zeus-like depiction, participating in a game of man, could really rankle the fundamentalist Christians snooping around the Internet.

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