Of course we’re talking about Bruce Wayne’s company in the DC Universe comic series. Formerly WayneCorp, but I guess Lucius Fox thought they needed a little freshening up of the brand, so they pushed through the change to Enterprises. Good move in my opinion.

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Interesting bit about the shirt that inspired this parody. Keep Calm and Carry On was a slogan on a poster printed in 1939 by the British Government’s Ministry of Information to stiffen the resolve of a country that was being blitzed by the Nazis.

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Number one: the only way this fish knows about the Guiness Book of World Records longest time playing dead by a fish in water is if this owner of the fish constantly has his TV on the GBOWR channel. Like 24-7. Because you see…fish can’t read. Their eyes don’t work like that. They can’t make out the little words. Yeah, maybe there’s a color photo of the previous world record holder but that really could be anything. Most miles wimming on his back. Longest time singing to Darfur refugees. Anything…so, long story short, I think this fish really did die because he was exposed to too much television.

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Icing the Kicker T Shirt

by on October 19, 2010

This is a shout out to Smirnoff Ice and football. Looks like the ball is on a tee, so this is a kickoff. At first I thought this was a field goal attempt, but I guess that would have been too confusing, because there actually is a dude that takes a knee during that play, so it wouldn’t have been as cool as this. Maybe, he’s just refreshing, he’ll throw the bottle behind him and the long snapper will get it to him. Place, spin ball laces out and boop. I guess that’s probably a little nerve racking also. All eyes are right there, so taking the edge off isn’t such a bad thing.

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Cute shirt. Donut hole, finds the mothership donut. Mothership donut says “you complete me” because then the donut hole is filled. Wait, why are they called donut holes. That would imply nothing. They should have mimes working at donut shops and when you buy 2-dozen donut holes they do that whole elaborate mime thing where they fake like they have one of those foldable donut boxes, and some tongs and they fill the whole thing up with “holes.” They hand it to you, then they cut the mime crap and ring you up for real. And when you don’t pay they get belligerent and start calling you the worst names you can think of. Then, they call the cops and the cops make you pay because they point at the fine print on the sign behind the counter that talks about how these are the freshest donuts you will ever stuff in your fat face.

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They’re really selling this thing. It looks sort of an elegant abstract piece and I don’t necessarily think people would think of it as representative of a cum shot unless you told them. Of course, if it was a string of pearls, with the silver in the same spot that would be more of an indicator.

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There are people that are horders or collectors or gotta have the latest and greatest gadget, gizmo, or in this case basketball kicks. Lebron is already droppin’ his South Beach shoe as the 8th in his Nike series.

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Did Conan O’Brien say this or something, because what’s the deal with the ginger riding the dinosaur on the shirt? That’s CoCo. Right? I personally don’t think it would be that much fun at all, because I don’t think dinosaurs would be very good rides, like, say, horses, or your mama (ha, ha, ha….you saw that coming from 42,000 miles away…right!?)

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Misdirection galore here. That’s a baseball player taking a mighty cut, aiming for the cheap seats, but probably whiffing super badly because Tim “The Freak” Lincecum just threw a nasty slider. It has nothing to do with a touchdown, which is the name of a score worth six points in the game of American football. That’s why it’s funny. People will come up to you scratch their heads and walk away. Hot women will get it right away and totally want to jump your bones…yeah, even you are a girl. It’s just what happens when you wear the Touchdown Baseball Batter T Shirt.

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Hey, put away the sleeping pills. Stop knotting up that rope with the noose. Take the live ammo out of the gun. You can make it through. Oh wait, I think I’m analyzing this 03687 Days Since the Last Time I Gave a Shit T Shirt all wrong. The person wearing this isn’t suicidally depressed. This person is telling others that he’s at the point where this life is pretty much just a crapshoot of random events and when you die, you get burned to a crisp or buried six feet deep, so in the meantime, why really get all wound up about stuff.

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This is an acceptable shirt offering from T Shirt Hell. Yes, it has the “F” word but I don’t have a problem with that, as long as it’s not worn in front of children. In fact, I love the “F” word in all its usage cases and rich variety of tenses and parts of speech. Do you love the “F” word. Actually, I guess a more important question is do you like the I Fucking Love to Cuddle T Shirt, which gains its humorous power from the juxtaposition of a sweet warm fuzzy thing like cuddling with the word fucking. That’s the joke and it’s effective.

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Apparently the dude was cheating for years and years and his mistress went to a vigil the same day the wife did, and the mistress was calling out his name, so she figured out something was funny. Though glad that he’s alive and well, she’s totally over him: Here’s how The Sun reported it:

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