night-of-the-living-bread-t-shirt

Get this Shirt From Seventh Ink

At the time of posting, this tee is on sale for 50% off and out of print, so once they’re gone….THEY’RE GONE! Nice wordplay accompanied by a beautifully ugly design, if that makes any sense. When you think of moldy, green bread rising from the underworld, you don’t often think eye-pleasing design, but this shirt pulls it off.

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Alien Invader T Shirt

by on February 7, 2013

alien-invader-t-shirt

Get This Tee From 6 Dollar Shirts

I like this one a lot. The little 8-pixel alien from Space Invaders thinks a lot of himself. In fact, in his mind he’s the big scary creature from the movie Alien. And, that’s the kind of positive self-delusion you have to have as you open yourself up to gunfire at close range as a phalanx of your fellow invaders slowly attack, knowing that most will perish.

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baroque-ass-mother-fuckers-t-shirt

Get this Shirt From 6 Dollar Shirts

The three major composers of the Baroque era all on one shirt. Bonus: you get to remember them as the broke musicians they were because of the wordplay in this design. If you can name each of these fine composers in the comments, you’ll get a super neat prize from me (a wagon-load of respect). To tell you the truth, I don’t even know who they are, or if they’re even real people from history.

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Mix Tape Anatomy T Shirt

by on February 7, 2013

mix-tape-anatomy-t-shirt

Get This Shirt From 6 Dollar Shirts

You have all the moving parts of the tape all mapped out, but the real anatomy of the mix tape is the lust, mistaken for love that drives the creation of 93% of mix tapes. It’s a way to share some of your taste, emotional range, and maybe slip in some subliminal (or not so) messages about getting naked.

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Pinkman T Shirt

by on February 7, 2013

pinkman-t-shirt

Get This Shirt from Five Finger Tees

Wait, is this a spoiler? I’m not quite done with season 5. Should I cover my eyes and run screaming? Why is Pinkman on a Phosphorus Periodic Table of the Elements square? Or maybe I just have a terrible memory and that happened in like Season 2. In fact, it’s what he’s known for. The actor that plays Pinkman can’t get any other acting work because the running Phosphorus bit throughout Season 4 has branded him, such that audiences could think of him in no other way. This is very possible, because the only thing I can remember about TV or movies is if I liked the shows or not.

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michonnes-katana-training-t-shirt

Get this Shirt From Five Finger Tees

I am so out of touch with the zombie thing. I do not get it. It’s just completely unsavory. Non-stop fear and shooting and really ugly people stumbling about groaning. But, I understand that I am the only person on Earth that is not really that into zombie programming, so I am happy to present this very fine The Walking Dead shirt.

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Heart On’s Sunglasses

by on February 6, 2013

heart-ons-sunglasses

Get this Tee from 6 Dollar Shirts

I’m really thinking that I might get this sunglasses. My kids already think I’m gay because they were saying that Javier Bardem was a weird and ugly looking dude, and I chimed in a little too passionately, that he is one of the most handsome men in the world (his hair in No Country for Old Men notwithstanding). I mean have they not seen Before Night Falls?

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valentines-day-of-the-dead-t-shirt

Get this Tee From 6 Dollar Shirts

I don’t totally understand why this shirt is called Valentine’s Day of the Dead. I love that it is, but where does Valentine’s day come into this? Does this skull image have something to do with the St. Valentine’s Day massacre. Or maybe we’re talking about Hamlet talking to a skull…there was love going on in that story…wasn’t there?

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I’m With Cupid T Shirt

by on February 6, 2013

im-with-cupid-t-shirt

Get this Shirt From 6 Dollar Shirts

This is pretty much brilliant. Not even in the context of the lover’s holiday coming up. It’s just super clever to turn the hack “I’m with stupid” t-shirt concept on its ear and let the love and happiness bubble up. Wait, if you’re with cupid, does that mean you resisted cupids arrows directing you to some other person, and instead directed your attention to the little cherubic demi-god? Is that legal?

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I Less Than 3 You T Shirt

by on February 6, 2013

i-less-than-3-you-t-shirt

Get this Shirt From 6 Dollar Shirts

Is it too soon to say I less than three you? <3…How cute is that? And this being February, the month of love. It’s perfect. It’s also super nerdy, which is exactly what gets you laid these days, so that’s a bonus unless you’re not into that.

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Dragon Origami T Shirt

by on February 6, 2013

dragon-origami-t-shirt

Get This Tee From Headline Shirts

Fold this way. Crease that. Fold the other way. Then shake your hands real fast and voila…it’s an origami dragon. Yes! It’s so easy. Anybody can do it. If you can’t make this with these perfect instructions, uh, I’m not sure what to tell you. Probably should get out of the business of pretending you’re into arts and crafts. Get back on that iPhone. Texting, tweeting, and watching vids is probably more your speed.

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Lost Cat Tiger T Shirt

by on February 6, 2013

lost-cat-tiger-t-shirt

Get this Tee From Headline Shirts

This is a weird thing to wear around. A t-shirt with a Lost Cat sign that you would post on a telephone pole as you’re sniffling and thinking the worst about the fate of Mittens. But, then, there’s a little whammy. It’s a tiger, and basically you’re trying to get small children to die at the zoo, checking the tiger’s tag.

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