Snack Attack T Shirt

by on December 13, 2010

Nice little play on words with images here. When you gotta have a snack it sometimes feels like those pretzels, cookies, and bags of popcorn are out to get you. I mean you’re the one attacking them, but it’s like they pulled you to them via psychological warfare. Could happen. You’ve seen Men Who Stare at Goats. I believe that kind of shit exists.

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Gingerhead Man T Shirt

by on December 13, 2010

This Britishism has really caught on in the gool ol US of A I’ll tell ya. What after the Southpark where Cartman hates gingers, then thinks he becomes one, so that he then wants to exterminate all the non-gingers. And, then, the kid on Youtube saying he’s a ginger and pleading with the world to understand that ginger’s have souls.

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I told you last week that Snorg Tees was offering 15% off all purchases until last Friday, but they’ve extended the sale through this Friday, so you still have a chance to get a nice savings on all those funny t shirts. Don’t be a Scrooge. Go take advantage of Snorg Tees holiday spirit.

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Enter the T-Shirt Chamber

by on December 13, 2010

If you like your funny t shirts a little more on the offensive or at least extra dirty side, then T Shirt Chamber is probably a site you want to check out. Tea Bagging seems to be a favorite pastime, and I’m not talking about marching on Washington D.C. with a bunch of fat, racist white people.

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Haikus are full of wisdom and this one is no different. On the surface it looks like it’s obvious and pedestrian, but if you peel away your preconceived notions, all of a sudden this shallow brook becomes a deep river of knowledge. This Shirts with a Haiku They’re Kind of Overrated But I’m Wearing One T Shirt speaks to me on a different plain. Yes, most shirts with haiku suck. They do not impart wisdom and they’re not funny and I acknowledge that on this shirt with a haiku, but I’m going to take the remaining words in this haiku to make some funny happen and deliver the haiku form. Genius. Brilliant. Sublime. I’ve evolved simply by looking at the shirt. You will probably go beyond like Ghandi and Mother Theresa if you actually wear it.

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This makes absolutely no sense, but with all the Star Wars shirts out there, I guess one can be an absurdest take on the Darth Vader-Luke Skywalker evil father redemption scenario. You see maybe milk I’m your mother works with a cow with some udders. Oh, wait, this cow that is telling that half gallon of milk that’s she’s his father actually is a cow and does have udders, so basically she’s fucking with the half gallon of milk, which isn’t very nice, and will probably lead to drug abuse in the later teenage years, but maybe the smashing humor in the moment is worth it. What do you think? Should we go ahead and examine it further?

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Gotta like the high tech analog technology and duct tape the National Security Agency uses to  record incriminating evidence. These days you gotta keep on your toes at all times. Anybody could be wired. If you see a big bulge on the chest of your son, co-worker, the pizza delivery man, or your gramma. Pat them down. Take them to the ground if they show even a hint of hesitancy. This ain’t no playing around. The NSA ain’t nothing to mess with. The could put you in a cell to rot for a good long time if you don’t watch your back.

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The 80s were indeed pretty awesome. Feathered hair. Mullets. Pastel colors. Popped collars. Top siders. Horrible movies. Synthesizers. Soprano saxophone. The Cold War with two super powers, instead all this anybody could be a terrorist shit. Pants that sat very high on the hips. Aerobics classes with lycra and leg warmers. And, everything was shallow.

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Actually, I think Kumari Fulbright is going to jail because she had her ex-boyfriend kidnapped, beaten, and robbed by three thugs. Looks like she got ugly doing some ugly drugs like heroin or meth. I probably should have more sympathy for the plight of this pathetic human being, who was weak, got mixed up in drugs and evil men, but her mug shot makes me laugh every time I look at it. Arizona beauty queen. I’d hate to see their average looking women. Ha Ha Ha. Actually, I think Ms. Fulbright was kind of a dog when she was winning beauty contests and going to law school, so there isn’t that much of a stark contrast between the before and after.

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SF City Bus Muni T Shirt

by on December 11, 2010

Sounds like the San Francisco bus system is a lot like the Milwaukee bus system, except that I think the fair is twice as much in Milwaukee if you can believe that shit. Again, if you want to look like you know San Francisco. I mean really know San Francisco. You do not get a shirt featuring the Golden Gate Bridge, or Fisherman’s Wharf, Lombard Street, Gay Pride parade or even the trolley. No you get this SF City Bus Muni T Shirt featuring the Fillmore bus running over all kinds of stuff.

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I have a few things I want to talk about regarding this t shirt. One, I heart transitive pictograph verbalizations…you know the thing that started with I picture of a fake heart NY. Think that that started to spread to other locales, then the Internet really took it to another level where artists started adding other distinguishing factors about the place they love and making that the image that represents love. That is the case I’m making for putting this shirt in the Internet Meme category. The convention is quite ingenious and it really does disseminate a lot of information about a place and the people that reside in it.

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This is important news for all you crazy Holiday Shoppers out there. Do you have any dinosaur lovers on your list? How about dinosaur + humor lovers? How about dinosaur + humor + t shirt lovers? If so, or if you’re completely desperate and have no other ideas, check out my freshly posted page, listing the best funny dinosaur t shirts on the Internet today. I have worked day and night to come up with this compilation for your convenience and pleasure. Enjoy and you’re welcome.

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