Chip…I’m going to come at you like a spider monkey. Love this Lord baby Jesus scene. Chip’s leg smells, Ricky Bobby’s wife’s ass is smokin’ hot, Jesus in a tuxedo t shirt, Jesus as a ninja, Jesus as a lead singer with eagle’s wings, $21.2 million…love that money, mention Powerade at each grace, and that kids putting the smack down on bag of bones grandpa. This is the family you need to aspire to.
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The legend of the undead is a rich mix of scary, painful, horrible, and funny. That’s right, funny stories. I mean moaning, greenish, undead people stompin’ around lookin’ for brains to eat. That has the potential to be hilarious, and some of the best designers in the business have tapped into that dark humor. Don’t believe me? I dare you to go check out the best Funny Zombie T Shirts the world wide web has to offer.
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This will get you into places that regular t shirts will not, and that comes in very useful sometimes when you’re rolling with a little classier crew. Keep it in your trunk, or back pack, or man purse, and when they say they want to go to the chichi restaurant and then then all look down their noses at your graphic tee, like “oh wait, we’re not going to be able to go to Sprig, because numb nuts over here is a slob.” And, you read that and you pull this Necktie T Shirt out of your bag, put it on over your other shirt, and everybody kind of breathes a sigh of relief because they wanted to go to Sprig, but they didn’t want to deal with leaving you behind, or going back and forth trying to figure out dining option.
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You may not have conquered the United States market for that top swallow calls CD you recorded in your mom’s basement, but your stuff is totally huge overseas, especially Japan, and you know what that means. It means that you’re a little ahead of the curve here in the US. So, just give it some more time and your popularity will explode stateside as well. You tell all your friends and acquaintances about your success in Japan, and half of them even believe you. Have of those believe you’re going on a swallow call tour in April.
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This is not for those fey, singer songwriters, that pick wildflowers and cook vegetarian meals for girls that want to be best friends with. Basically, this shirt is not for any of those vampire fools.
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What is fantastically awesome about this shirt is that the meter actually does change according to who puts it on. It’s like one of those mood rings. Seriously, it is high tech metaphysical wizardry, and you just hope you tip the scale at awesome. Actually, I’d probably wear it at wicked and even cool, which looks to be right in the middle of the bell curve. I’d take a moment before I went outside if it said meh, and if it was pointing to weak, I’d probably crawl back in bed.
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I just asked some gamers what the heck this meant to confirm my own suspicions and I was right. Luigi sucks compared to Mario, so big brother plays Super Mario Brothers as Mario, and they push off Luigi on the little brother. There are perks to being the oldest. Of course, the little brother in my house says that Luigi is just like Mario except with a green hat. He swears he likes Luigi, but you can bet when his littler friend comes over to play video games that the littler dude is going to get Luigi. It’s just how it works. It’s the cycle of life. Deal with it.
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You think of Ocean’s 11 and all of the preparation and expertise that went into robbing the casino, when there’s a dude right now that parks his motorcycle in front of the building trots in with his helmet on and a gun in his hand. Goes to the nearest craps table, and comes away with $1.5 million in chips. He’s done this twice now in the same outfit. Boop Boop. Done. Now, you figure there’s 92 guys that will fence chips. He gets 50% of the take and he’s a millionaire. No high tech building schematic computer cracking needed.
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Everybody is talking about violence in schools. And meth labs in rural areas that are feeding all those hick kids, but the real thing that is posing a major threat to the fabric of our society is cats on cat nip. If you think about it. If you remember back to the cat in your life losing their mind over the stuff then it will start to dawn on you that this is actually the major threat to our way of life. And, you know what? Nobody is talking about it and nobody is doing anything about it, which is why Snorg Tees has taken it upon themselves to introduce the If You don’t Talk to Them About Cat Nip Who Will T Shirt.
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This is good if you wear it if your a very large individual with fat rolls or a fit and trim individual that’s squeezing into a tight t shirt. The fat person shows that he has a wonderful sense of humor and it is a positive message, because there is a god that has a rotund body. The fit person is showing off, but it’s tolerable because they have fat Buddha on their shirt, which makes it funny.
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I have to admit this took me a beat or two to figure out. What the hell is that hat with wine glasses stuck on a pitchfork. Is this some special type of scarecrow? Does this have something to do with the Phantom of the Opera. Then, I had a flash image of my fine fat friends attending the Packers game at Lambeau and recalled the headwear with the beers and the tube system to drink from.
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