This is very good advice. If you have dreams of movin’ on up in life you have to start somewhere and that somewhere is spending every last bit of credit you have to fake like you have already made it. Get into a house way over your head. Drive something that impresses but puts a big time hurtin’ to your finances. Wear way overpriced clothing, including haute couture and jeans that cost over $200.

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Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!

Truth and justice. This shirt celebrates the very great movie Boondock Saints. You got the prayer, the church, the Irishness, and the Catholic pageantry. The Veritas Aequitas T Shirt is probably the perfect tee to feature on St. Patty’s Day with all that crazy mix of angel and devils and good and evil and saints and sinners that comes with delving deep in the Catholic church, a bottle of booze, and the Irish psyche.

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Shark Punch T Shirt

by on March 16, 2011

Dude. Wicked uppercut by the dude that got his diving equipment at a pawn shop like three miles inland from the cove. He even disregards the common advice to aim for the nose and goes straight for the chin, because that’s what kind of badass he is. Not to mention he’s wearing knee pads from the 70s, sneakers with buckles wrapped around them, and that old ass diver mask that probably doesn’t even work. In fact, it’s kind of sad, he does this thing to the shark, who just swims away defeated, but Mr. Uppercut actually dies on this dive because the helmet is too heavy and he’s not actually connected to any oxygen. But, it’s good that we wear this Shark Punch T Shirt, because it celebrates the good times.

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Steve Buscemi plays this dude Nucky Thompson in the HBO show Boardwalk Empire, who is based on a real life dude named Nucky Johnson. Seems like a pretty interesting cat. Kind of ran the rum running racket and the gambling racket on the Atlantic City Boardwalk during prohibition. Any money for protection to continue running illegal operations also went through Nucky, so he certainly was the de facto treasurer.

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Of course, Caprica City is the capital city of the planet Caprica. There’s a wiki about it, so it must be incredibly important, like the world economy and Japan’s recovery process.

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Is this simply one of those state shirts and it’s a mild joke about Myrtle Beach? Or is this some sort of reference to a crazy moment on a whacky sitcom? I’m guessing it’s just a goof on South Carolina that is meant to capture all of Busted Tees South Carolina fans…and there are millions of them.

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This is like wearing your own personal PSA message. It’s a good reminder. Of course, how often do you hear loose lips as a euphemysm for talking too much or not having enough of a reign on what you say and who you say it too. It’s more like a loose tongue. Loose lips sounds like an aging porn star condition. Ewwww. Sorry that was uncalled for.

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The only problem I have with this shirt is that I’d like to see the artwork lower…like over the belly rather than the chest. That would be perfect. I think this is a really nice sentiment and makes obesity funny and light-hearted instead of all the heavy news stories about fatness causing cancer, and heart problems and all that other bullshit. Forget that. Embrace the gut with the This Ain’t a Beer Belly It’s a Fuel Tank for a Sex Machine T Shirt. Fat dudes need some action too.

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I Loved LA T Shirt

by on March 15, 2011

This is exactly what I’m talking about with Local Celebrity. They’ll take well-trodden t shirt turf and make it fresh again.

Who’s ever seen past-tense transitive pictograph verbalizations? No one. This I Loved LA T shirt is totally original stuff and I love it right now (present tense).

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Get This Shirt From Deez Teez

The thing with these aggressive, offensive t shirts is that people don’t think you’re really talking to them through the shirt. In fact, they probably imagine you are aiming this vindictive stuff at people THEY DON’T LIKE. So it makes them a little giddy to see something like this I Have Tourettes, Not Really But Fuck You Anyways T Shirt, because they think you’re sticking it to their enemies. So, you have to be patient with the people that come up to you and tell them that actually the shirt is especially for them. They’ll be taken aback and start incoherent mumblings, but they’ll get the message, and ultimately they may change their ways and become decent citizens of planet Earth.

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Another Super Mario T Shirt that includes a little word play. If you don’t know like I didn’t until I took the requisite 4.5 minutes to look it up, the gold coins some Mario Brothers business that you grab up so you can be awesome at that video game. So, you can be a hardcore gamer. Conversely, making it rain is a phrase that means bringing in the business, or getting paid the money, or making it happen on a fiscal level. You can only imagine how awesome you are if you make it hail. It’s heavier. It’s harder. It’s ice chunks from the sky.

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It’s a math shirt! It’s been a while since we celebrated the finest of subjects. The manipulation of numbers. The perfection. Math. Math. Math. Of course, this is also a little word play with the title of the song It’s a Thin Line Between Love And Hate by The Persuaders and covered by everybody and their mama.
Anyway, you don’t often think about the combination of soul music and math, but it’s there. I’m telling you. It’s there. That’s why you need to get There’s a Fine Line Between Numerator and Denominator T Shirt.

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