I just posted a review of Polly & Crackers, a seriously interesting player in the funny t shirt business. Take your time with this site. At first it looks like a bunch of poorly designed, super weird stuff, but it totally grows on you, and you see there’s a method to the mad randomness.

It’s like a band you don’t think you like at first, but you know there’s something there, so you keep listening, and the layers start to reveal themselves and all of a sudden their album is one of your favorites and in constant rotation on the iPod. In fact, I think I’m in danger of becoming obsessed. Proceed at your own risk. I mean even that logo grows on you. Polly is a fine clean font. Crackers is jacked. And that little girl is cussing like a sailor.

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Polly and Crackers is a nice little shirt outfit from North Carolina (I did some heavy duty research on the area code on their contact phone number). They go for the lo-fi look on their designs, and the messaging is obtuse or even random.

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This rolled up dollar bill reminds me of towelie, except towelie can’t help but be high all the time, whereas this dollar bill just can’t help but be money because he’s cool, and he’s got his shit together. Look at the shades, the sneakers, the arms crossed, the eyebrows just so. Dude’s money. And, you know how they say a lot of your character shows in the friends you keep. Well, if you wear this I Can’t Help But Be Money T shirt you basically are in the company of a winner and that means by proxy you are a winner too.

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Beat up that beat you guido. The roided, fake tan beasts of Jersey Shore do the fist pump. They start pounding the ground and moves higher until it’s all up in the air. Raining down the pump. It’s so primal and plastic. It’s an amazing paradox and that’s why each man, woman and child in the United States and abroad loves the Jersey Shore, can’t get enough of the Jersey Shore. And, that’s why there will be millions of these Fist Pump T Shirts floating around in the Universe as people continue to capture the magic of the plasti-primal.

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Not sure I agree with this sentiment. You can’t always rest on your laurels. Of course this I’m Number One Why Try Harder T Shirt does make it clear that there is some trying, so maybe it’s right. If you know what you need to do to maintain #1, maybe you don’t want to expend extra energy, which may burn you out and make you lose your grasp of the top spot. Maybe I like it.

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Come over here kids and let me tell you a story about a band from the 80s that was the toast of the town for a relatively short time. Flash in the pan. One hit wonder. Lightning in a bottle. They were called A Flock of Seagulls and they epitomized the synthesizer-heavy music of the decade.

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I’m just trying to figure out why you would want to wear this Don’t Shit in My Cooler T Shirt…ever. It’s so random, so fecal-oriented. Maybe on a trip to the beach with your buddies. Of course, that just becomes a dare at that point. The bar is the place I imagine people wear all the crazy, gross or offensive shirts, but there’s not a clever wordplay or sexual innuendo to be seen. Maybe on a boat if you bring a cooler along. Or maybe you’re the guy that just totes a cooler behind him wherever he goes. Then, you can wear this shirt and it makes sense.

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This is officially wordplay. Without a doubt. I have looked at it from every angle and by my calculations this adds up to wordplay 97.8% of the time. Would you agree about this Try Peer Pressure T Shirt. Because usually it’s some kid with a wispy mustache and amazingly feathered hair trying to tell you, the dork, to take a little puff of marijuana, or take a swig off a beer, or just a little nip from the flask, or the teeniest little snort of the blow, or just a quickie shot of heroin. That’s peer pressure because the cool dude says everybody is doing it. Now, Busted Tees with the help of the design from Vintage Vantage says, everybody is doing the peer pressure so you should do that too.

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Well, it’s kinda true. They ain’t givin’ nothin’ up, which is great as a possible choice, if they’re saving themselves for the right partner, etc. I guess the question is what’s a virgin. I know some girls that think taking it in the pooper keeps their virginity intact, while others thinking French kissing is basically carnal knowledge. So, when you wear this Hey Virgins Thanks for Nothing T Shirt, be prepared to answer some of these “penetrating” questions.

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Transitive Pictograph Verbalizations are all the rage in the Internet t shirt community. Ever since New York busted out the greatest city PR campaigns ever with the I Heart NY, people have been taking that model and tweaking it for their own purposes, often to great comedic effect.

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Positive affirmations work! You can make things happen in your life just by telling yourself you’re awesome, and good, and cool, and successful, and drop dead gorgeous. Then, take it to the next level by sharing with everyone else, what you have discovered about yourself with this Damn I’m Good T Shirt.

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When you’re watching the local news and the meteorologist slash part-time corny comedian comes on and very soberly starts to give the weather, you know something bad is coming. What is it? Tornado? Blizzard? Hurricane? He comes on with his little pointer and starts flipping the slides and starts out normal 72 degrees and partly cloudy on Monday. 74 degrees and sunny on Tuesday. 15,000 degrees on Wednesday. Wait what. Yeah, 15K and we’re all going to die because the Death Star has this awesome green laser technology that can obliterate a planet in like 5.25 seconds.

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