Awesome movie. John Belushi as John “Bluto” Blutarsky is magical. The rag tag groups get shit on but they overcome and get their revenge. There’s drinking and babes and sensitive folk singer instruments being crushed. It’s a thing of beauty and that’s why you should consider getting this Delta House T Shirt because you support the outcasts and funloving men and women at your college, at your job, in your church, at your schools, in your neighborhood, and the Odd Fellows Hall, in your Freemason’s club. Celebrate it!

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Sometimes you want the classic College t shirt from Animal House, but sometimes you want to get more specific, which is why this Faber College Phys. Ed 1963 t shirt exists. It’s there for you to have choice. To make up your own mind about what sort of message you want to bring to the general public as you sit in your office or walk down the street or eat alone in a restaurant serving Chinese cuisine and cheeseburgers.

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It’s hard to figure out why anybody in their right minds would want to wear this Omega House T Shirt. I mean they are the enemy of the Delta House. They have the creepy hazing rituals, and the snooty attitudes. Why would you wear this shirt. Actually the only reason I can see that you would by it, is to take it off in a public place and destroy it either by burning or tearing to shreds. That kind of demonstration really fires people up. They think you’re one with the enemy at first, but then you surprise them with your radical actions and they love you doubly because you have made a public mockery of the Omega House.

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No one can really tell if this is Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dum, except for maybe the artist who conceived the design, but one thing is for certain. He isn’t happy and isn’t that the best state of this dude to capture for a t shirt. I think so, and that’s why I’m convinced that anybody that likes Alice in Wonderland should get this Tweedle Dee Tweedle Dum T Shirt.

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When some kid sees you wearing this shirt, then excepts candy from a stranger, then gets fat and dies of heart disease before his time, I hope you’re happy with yourself and your “humor.” This Strangers Are Awesome T Shirt is an awful message and you should never wear it, but if you absolutely have to to be the big man of campus (bmoc), then make sure no kids are around to get the wrong idea.

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What is going on with this dude. He’s trying way too hard to prove that he loves you while covering up some horrid environmental atrocity that Globo Chem is pulling off. Of course, this Take it From Me I Love You Pit Pat T Shirt is referencing Mr. Show, which is a television program that I watched religiously. Actually, that’s not true because my mom doesn’t let me watch TV. Anyway, Pit Pat is just a little off. The beer gut is creepy instead of cute and cuddly like the Hamburger Helper Hand or Pilsbury Dough Boy. And his messaging sounds like it was written by someone that writes in English as a second language.

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This is the anti-mullet t shirt, and if you don’t like anti-mullet sentiment you can go to hell. Just kidding. Mullets are cool to look at and laugh at. Actually, I had a minor one in the 80s (yeah, I’m old…so…). This dude on the Business in the Front Business in the Back T Shirt is very serious minded and wants to take his career to the next level, so he got a sensible hair cut, some business casual attire and went to work. And, there he will stay for 45 years, toiling away with little recognition, little humor and little to know fun. But, the bills are paid, the kids are growing up healthy, and the suburban neighbors accept him as long as he keeps his lawn neatly trimmed.

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I like the mix of pens you have in in the pocket protector. Standard red and blue, but then you also have maybe a black pen with a finer point, and then of course you have one of those multicolored pens, which have always been my favorite. All the excellent options to choose from. Sometimes, actually, it’s almost paralyzing. You’re on the phone and somebody starts saying something that really should be written down but you can’t decide which color to do it in and eventually you end up losing your job, your house, your car and your family because of it. That’s the only bummer about the multi-colored pens.

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How do you even begin to talk about this weirdo shirt. Is that really duct tape or is it fabric made to look like duct tape that has been placed on a lined shirt to look like an argyle pattern. Do you have any interest in this whacky Duct Tape Argyle T Shirt? Next you’re going to have Headline Shirts sister company Headline Socks doing the same thing with woolies to wear on your feet. And then where are we? Nowhere? Utter confusion? Bliss? Terror? I don’t even know. I feel like I’ve lost all bearings and my moral compass after looking at this tee on the Internet.

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Another OBL offering here. This one a little more direct in noting that he is no longer the hide and seek champion because he has a hole in his head. Using the hide & seek story kind of softens the ugly fact that this dude got shot in the head by Navy Seals in retaliation for masterminding the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers and the Pentagon, which is kind of heavy stuff if you think about it too long.

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You have to love Alice in Wonderland and further you must love the Mad Hatter. So, it stands to reason that you would love this Mad Hatter T Shirt with a fervor saved for energy drinks and free iPod games. Then there’s the thing of Johnny Deep, the dreamboat, playing the Mad Hatter in the Tim Burton’s version of Alice in Wonderland and you probably feel an unnatural compulsion to get this tee.

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It’s not a t shirt, but I’m calling attention to it anyway, because it’s fabulous. Sex Panther Cologne. For reals. You can buy a bottle. Receive the bottle. Tip the bottle. Dab the cologne on your neck and you have a 60% chance of it working every time…and by working, of course, I mean getting laid by your choice of hot vixens, who can’t keep their ridiculously manicured hands off of you.

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