Don’t believe the hype on the whole pimping ain’t easy. Yeah, you have to slap people around. Yeah you have to make sure your employees get paid and there’s no legal channels you can go through to make sure it happens, but really, it’s not you that has to be smothered by greasy, fat, hairy horny dudes. You just have to come in after the deed and collect a large percentage of the proceeds.

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Hey pimp. You know you like this I’m Not a Landscaper I Just Like Working with Hoes T Shirt, because it’s another wordplay image play tee that captures the imagination of the hard working, law abiding pimps plying their craft across this great land of ours.

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I can not lie, when I get in line and make my way to pay, it is inevitable that the person behind the counter checks me out. Men and women. Can’t help it. I have money. I’m ready to make a transaction of goods for fiat currency. It’s a win-win. And, then when they see that I like sour kraut it turns them on to distraction, because they know I’m wild.

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Wordplay alert. Comin’ at you hot and heavy. Actually, it’s cool and breezy because it’s a fan. See there’s a metal fan on the shirt, but when someone wears the I’m a Huge Metal Fan T Shirt, the first thing you think of is “oh yeah, speed, death, heavy, old school.” And, I’m sure they’ll have an answer and will follow up with some of their favorites: Metallica, Slayer, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath.

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Hey, you have to stand up for something. You have to band together for a cause some time. Why not come together with others that cannot spell. Sounds like a reasonable reason to whip up a movement. First thing you do is purchase the Bad Spellers of the World Untie T Shirt.

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Michael Myers is after you in that absolutely creepy mask. Of course, I feel like masks like that would really inhibit the ability to kill effectively and effeciently, but I might be wrong. Never tried it.

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The inseminator knocks up the help and nobody knows about it for like 10 years. Wowza. Maria Shriver finds out and drops him like it’s hot. After a 10 or 20 minute period of sadness, both of them will be back on their feet and going after their goals like never before. Good for them.

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Well, sometimes you have to call a redneck a redneck, and this Redneck T Shirt does a fine job of it. If you watch NASCAR, you are officially a redneck, and there’s no argument. You could have just moved from the trailer park to the suburbs but if you enjoy NASCAR, you are a redneck. Wait, what the hell am I, Jeff Foxworthy? I think both those that enjoy car racing and those that mock racing will both equally cotton to this fine tee from Deez Teez.

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Quint probably should have punched Jaws in the nose. I hear that’s all you have to do with sharks. Punch them in the nose, and they say “ow, why’d you do that, and swim off, to search for more ameneable prey.”

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I have to admit that the dude probably needed to die as an at-large war criminal. Forget imprisonment and due process of law, just take him out. Of course, hanging his head on the Statue of Liberty takes it to another level. I guess it would cause significant pause to the next terrorist in a plane planning on taking out an American building. So good job Seal Team VI.

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Can barely see these little vignettes of spoilers, so I’ll try to strain myself to read them for you. This is the kind of sacrifice I make for you, my much valued reader. Without further ado…what it says on this Spoiler Alert T Shirt.

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Seems so cute. The picture of the goat is cute. The girl is cute. Nice sweet little shirt. In fact, you may even want to get it for a sweet little kid. But, if you remember a few years, Goatse Farm was an Internet meme. Basically, it was saying do you want to see Goatse Farms and it sounds idyllic so you click the link and the most horrific shock site was there awaiting you. And you projectile vomited on your screen. And cried for two hours straight and scrubbed your eyeballs with soft hand soap to no avail.

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