If you, unlike me, don’t know anything about Mike Haggar you should probably go on over to the Street Fighter wiki page and get yourself some learning, so you can keep up with the important shit. Forget about the death of the United States Republic, and the crazy ass weather from global warming. Let’s get knowledgeable about Mike Haggar. In fact, let’s wear the Vote for Mike Haggar Metro City Mayor T Shirt and spread the love far and wide.

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Nice little wordplay switch up on the old ass commercial for those toaster waffles that, in retrospect, were probably nasty as all get out. Wait, they probably still sell those damn things on the strength of that tagline: leggo my eggo. By the way, who the hell tries to steal someone’s waffle in the morning. That ain’t cool.

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Love the image of the girl with the rocker hand gesture and a beer in the other hand. She’s not crabby, she’s rockin’ out on good vibes, great times, good food, and plentiful libations. Is there anything better than that. I didn’t think so. And, that is why you should make sure there’s always coolness in the room, and things don’t slip into silly bitterness, by wearing the Don’t Be Crabby T Shirt.

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Of course, this is in reference to Michael Scott’s last day in the office on the TV show The Office. Steve Carell basically was done carrying this sorry cast and wanted to free himself up to do more hilarious movies like Dinner for Schmucks. Just kidding The Office cast is great and Dinner for Schmucks sucks, but Scott’s departure is still true. That really happened on the show and that’s a big deal if you’re a big fan, so you should get the Goodbyes Stink T Shirt.

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This Opulence I Has It T Shirt is, of course, in reference to the crazy commercial featuring the rich Russian with leggy women draped all over him, eating gold-coated grapes, choosing gold busts of himself, and kissing a miniature giraffe, who says that even with all of this opulence he still likes a good deal, which is why he got the premium DirectTV package. Wait, is that the correct brand. Ha ha. I don’t even know, because the commercial is too entertaining, you get sucked into the storyline and the brand doesn’t matter at all.

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I find this shirt funny because of the gravity of the language and the devotion to the fallen hero who lead his Ohio State Buckeyes to great success on the grid iron, including a national championship in 2002, but he cheated while doing it. So, I know Donkey Tees is located in Ohio and has much respect for a man that coached OSU to a 106-22 record, but the school reputation has been sullied, so I have no sympathy.

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The monkey is the thing in The Hangover sequel. One can say he steals the show and them’s big words, because the show was packed with massive comedic performances. However, it’s probably advisable to own the Monkey Dealer T Shirt if you’re a fan of The Hangover 2, because it’s just a great picture of the monkey and it’s cool to have the word “dealer” above a monkey. Am I right?

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I’m assuming this is a shout out to King Kong, but that wasn’t really an invasion. He was captured and ripped out of his home and taken to NYC, and he got away, scaled the Empire State Building and ended up falling to the ground after fighting fighter planes. Sad. Ooops that was a spoiler alert. Hopefully, you already know this story, which is at least 78 years old, and probably older. The first King Kong movie was released in 1933.

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Buffy did work back in the 90s at Sunnydale high, and now we’re talking about the 12-year reunion ‘cuz that’s what high schools with vampires do. They have reunions every six years, because that’s an evil number and vampires are evil. This is why you must show your undying devotion to some old ass TV show, but make it obscure so you can only impress those other freaks of nature that like this show so much. Purchase the Sunnydale Reunion class of ’99 T Shirt.

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We all do it. Yellow at the traffic light means floor it to get to the middle of the intersection before the red, and, of course, before on-coming traffic starts to flow at you. This whole myth about yellow means caution and slow down I think started with Ma Ingoll back in the wagon days, and she was dead wrong. Listen to pa and floor it on the yellow light.

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Have you seen The Hangover 2? I have not, but I loved the fixed one and I love the previews I’m seeing for II. In fact, this scene with Alan Garner and a monkey on a crowded Asian bus, sitting next to an old man looks hilarious.

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You can have all your pop culture references, your nerdy phraseology, your offensive twists on holidays, your alcohol celebrations. For my money, scatological humor is the best your can buy. I’m 40 and I absolutely love the I Pooped Today T Shirt. And that might seem weird. You’d think 4-15 might be the demographic for this messaging and slight chance that senior citizens might also appreciate it because generally evacuating the bowels becomes more of an issue the older you get and the more clogged up the plumbing becomes.

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