You got the delivery on Friday evening. Saturday is booked…you know…the morning recovery from Friday night, the Saturday game, the thingie at the park, the yoga class. So, now you have the IKEA box and it’s Sunday. You try to make it easy like Lionel Ritchie, but that fucking box is staring at you like Hannibal Lecter. So, you open the box and are faced with 97 parts, screws, proprietary fastening devices, laminate, caster wheels, and, guess what, your Sunday is RUINED! And did you really need that shelving unit in the attic? No one even goes up there.

Read more on IKEA Ruining Sundays Since 1934 T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

Dude is dropping mad beats on the raving crowd. Place is hopping. The energy is intense. Everybody’s getting laid tonight, especially when Clarence MacDougal is spinning the wax. It was harder to get the deep bass to pummel the core of being, but the freshness of the grooves made this minor missing bass a footnote in an otherwise epic night out. You were lucky to catch one of these all nighters, because rooms sold out fast.

Read more on Party Like It’s 1923 DJ with Gramophone T Shirt…

{ 3 comments }

Andy Samberg plays a wannabe stuntman, who likes to party. What else needs to be said? I mean we could talk about the dancing Asian, cool beans, Jorma Taccone, Bill Hader, Isla Fisher, Danny McBride…do I need to go on? Yes…okay. Fake moustache. Eagle Powers. Qwhiskey safe word. More? You want more…just a minute I need to go check some more clips on Youtube.

Read more on Hot Rod My Name is Rod and I Like to Party T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

In case you need a refresher on Total Recall, starring the ever impressive, Arnold Schwarzenegger, he’s gotta do some crazy sci-fi stuff, including going to Mars. And, on Mars, there are three-breasted women. I have included a Youtube video that shows you what I’m talking about (tastefully, of course…the real naughty bits are covered).

Read more on Total Recall Hoooters Venusville, Mars T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

This is just awesome. Took me a moment, but then I harkened back to my four semesters of Spanish in college, and realized I don’t know shit, in fact, my entire college experience was a waste. But, we’re here to talk about this lovely and hilarious Los Beatles Juan, Pablo, Jorge & Gringo t shirt. It did take a minute, but I finally translated, John, Paul, George…then it took me another second to figure out Gringo = Ringo. Once I put it all together, slowly I grant you, I loved the shirt.

Read more on Los Beatles Juan, Pablo, Jorge & Gringo T Shirt…

{ 2 comments }

98 Percent Monkey T Shirt

by on September 29, 2011

Fact: This monkey looks cool. Fact: the pen, the tie, the glasses, and the button down shirt make this monkey look hard working and respectable. Fact: that monkey just threw shit at the FedEx dude. Fact: no matter how business casual you dress a monkey, you still should never let them loose in an office.

Read more on 98 Percent Monkey T Shirt…

{ 1 comment }

This is the thing right here. Dumbledore Gandalf wasn’t pure as the newly driven snow. He had some shit in his closet and I bet that, yes, he was a beast in the sack ’til his dying day. He had charisma and vim and vigor, and I think along with keeping tip top with his magic, he kept himself in shape, so he definitely didn’t need the pills a lot of the older male generation depends on to get it up.

Read more on Lord of the Rings Gandalf I Got the Magic Stick T Shirt…

{ 2 comments }

Rocko’s Modern Life was an animated series that aired from 1993-1996. If you don’t know about it, learn some more about it right here on the Wikipedia page.  Then, after you become completely enamored with the story of the animated series, and how it sort of was the transgendered parent of Spongebob Squarepants then you’ll be hot for this Conglom-o We Own You T Shirt, because it was a hilarious tagline for the evil corporation.

Read more on Rocko’s Modern Life Conglom-o We Own You T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

Nyan Cat Toaster T Shirt

by on September 27, 2011

Available in Men's and Women's Sizes.

Apparently…wait let me start over, but I know this for sure. There is a 10-hour Youtube video of a certain cat that’s part pop tart, that flies in space shitting out rainbow to a spectacularly annoying but somewhat catchy tune. The twist is that the video is the same 10-second clip over and over. Amazing. Our future is in good hands. I’m assuming a young person put that thing together. No offense, but I could only make it through 6.5 hours. I thought 15 minutes was the video limit. Must have special privileges.

Read more on Nyan Cat Toaster T Shirt…

{ 1 comment }

Hot Bear Balloon T Shirt

by on September 27, 2011

There is a bear in a hot air balloon chasing after a dude that doesn’t look too happy that his nice solitary balloon trip to clear his head and look deep into his soul, has now turned into a aeronautic maneuver battle with a very angry animal. The other shitty thing for this dude is that he’s dropped all the sandbags to get away, and now he’s totally at the mercy of the winds.

Read more on Hot Bear Balloon T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

There’s a Facebook page devoted to this knock knock joke, except it doesn’t have “The” in front of “Doctor”. Should this Knock Knock Who’s There The Doctor T Shirt have “The” in front of “Doctor”. I don’t think so, except that it throws people off the scent of the joke for a little longer as they’re staring at your shirt. So, that builds up a little comic tension, which bursts like a blister all over the faces of anybody within a 4-foot radius of this comedic discovery. And that’s funny.

Read more on Dr. Who Knock Knock Who’s There The Doctor T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

This is what you call a contradiction or wordplay or weak shirt from Snorg Tees. Actually, it’s not one of my favorite, but if you like this type of humor then I think I’m Not Supersititious, It’s Bad Luck to Be Superstitious T Shirt is one of the best things ever printed on cotton (for you).

Read more on I’m Not Superstitious, It’s Bad Luck to Be Superstitious T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }