Of course, this Ray’s Occult Books T Shirt is in reference to Ghostbusters and Ray, is of course, Dr. Raymond Stantz, the character played by Dan Akroyd, who owns an occult book store. This movie hit in 1984 and it’s still huge. The kids love this stuff. It is a classic I have to say. The script is snappy, the music is peppy, the humor gets you, and, of course, there’s all of the unforgettable moments: Stay Puft Marshmallow, Who Ya Gonna Call, and, uh…some other awesome scenes.

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Available in Men's and Women's sizes.

So you have this video game Portal that I know less than nothing about. There’s a vortex of unknowledge in my brain about Portal. It seems to be popping up everywhere, yet I cannot get myself to figure out what it’s all about. Am I a bad person? Anyways…Think Different is the classic Apple slogan. If you never saw the commercial I’ve done you the huge favor of embedding it below.

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This Acoustic Keytar T Shirt is pretty damn wicked. I love the concept of this dude holding a miniature grand piano. And I love his vest, his hair, and his intensity. Moustache…check. Chest hair…check. Stylish footwear…check. This is a rocker extraordinaire, and he has chosen to play the most hardcore instrument on the planet. That thing has to way like 85 pounds. Think of the pressure on his back and neck, yet he is still rocking the house, and giving the people what they paid to see. A show. An event. The memory of a lifetime.

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This clown is really putting on the serious face to be taken seriously. You feel sorry for the poor, goofy bastard because…

One, he doesn’t have a penis.
Two, he has feeble looking limbs.
Three, he looks like he’s in desperate need of some craniosacral work.

Read more on Clown Does It Look Like I’m Kidding T Shirt from Snorg Tees…

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Let me go through this diagram with you, in case the image is too small for you to read without strain. The snout is awesome. The ear is mmm. Shoulder is tasty. Haunch is yum. And the leg is yum yum. Back is delectable. The ribs are delicious. The is upper belly is MMMHHMM. And the lower belly is heavenly. The rump is om nom nom. And the back haunch is so good.

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This is freakin’ stretchin’ it right here. Plural Platypus and you get this Platypi T Shirt where the poor animals are contorted into the pi sign. Pretty funny. Makes me think there should be a company that specializes in pi shirts. Like every word in the English language with a pi sound is turned into some pi reference. Pine cone. Pile of shit. Pike. Pied Piper. This could be a real gas. Supine. Spy.

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This is obviously a parody of the very popular children’s book, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, by Eric Carle. In that book, the Caterpillar eats through a lot greenery, and then tries to eat a lollipop, pie, sausage, muffin and watermelon and gets sick, so he goes back to eating leaves and eventually turns into a butterfly.

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It looks like in the UK they refer to “Jello” as “jelly,” which is why the creator of this design, Zomboy, calls it Jelly Fish. That doesn’t really make sense in the US, because jelly is that grape or raspberry or strawberry stuff you spread on a peanut butter sandwich. However, this Shark Chasing Diver in a Jello Mold T Shirt does not say Jelly Fish on it, so that’s not a problem even if you do live in the United States.

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There is nothing more insidious than an evil creature that comes in cute costume. It’s the whole biblical concept of Satan coming as an angel of light. He seduces you with beauty and perceived goodness. You feel comfortable because your eye is telling you everything is cool, and once you hit that certain point of relaxation whammo, the devil hits you with evil cravings…addictions, bad thoughts, urges to hurt, maim, and kill…and worst of all, desires to become the most wretched creature on earth…a Wall Street banker.

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I’m reviewing Rizzo Tees right here because the proprietor of the shop, Chris Reimer, is some sort of social media guru master rock star, and I figure if I can get him to like me by slathering heavy, thick praise on his shirt work that he might become my friend on Facebook, or follower on Twitter, or connect with me somehow that makes me look 112 times cooler than I really am.

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Available in Men's and Women's sizes.

This I Hate Pants T Shirt seems to be super hot. Rizzo Tees can barely keep the things in stock. See all this Occupy This and Occupy That is monopolizing the headlines, along with the hard hitting celebrity sunglasses updates you see all the time, but the underground movement that is really picking up steam without a lot of fanfare is the no pants coalition.

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Damn! Did you hear what this I’m the Mayor of Your Mom on Foursquare T Shirt just said about your momma? I wouldn’t take that at all. If that was me I’d totally mess that shirt up, because that’s disrespectful. What are you gonna do about it?

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