Sad but true. Nobody really cares about the Winter Olympics. No hard feelings Vancouver. It’s not your fault, although the warm weather and slushy conditions aren’t helping. Maybe you should make a quick switcheroo and move the games to the frozen tundra of Atlanta or perhaps some serious skiing down the Washington Monument in D.C.
The lack of buzz is an issue with the Winter Olympics, so maybe you go urban on this thing. Ice skating through city streets, ski jumping off buildings, figure skating in a random basement…it would be great.
Seriously, a couple of issues with connecting the world at large to the Winter Games. One, it’s not as personal as the Summer games. Everybody is in a skimpy outfit at the Summer Games and for prurient interests and for just feeling more of a connection there’s nothing better than showing a little skin.
Two, all of the equipment feels like cheating. Usain Bolt needs shoes and a track and he’s going to electrify the world. Shaun White may as well be Carrot Top with the helmet, snow suit, gloves, snow board, goggles, boots, etc. He’s anonymous (never mind the 690,230 fans on Facebook — he’s
Biathlon image: Zimbio
simply not connecting with the people when he’s out there).
Three, the Winter Olympics includes the biathlon and curling. The biathlon looks like some Nordic teenager afternoon romp that they turned into a game: snow, cross country skis and a BB gun…good to go. And curling, well, any time you want to dance widdershins around a space age kitchen appliance sliding down the ice, then you absolutely must call that an Olympic sport!
Curling image: Sport Illustrated
Anyways, if you agree you’ll need get this Nobody Cares Winter Olympics 2010 Vancouver Tshirt and where it proudly, because you know the truth.
More Links:
Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony TV viewing audience: Okay, this totally contradicts the whole point of this post, but can you really believe the numbers?
iPhone Winter Olympics Apps: Um, nobody cares…real time updates on your iPhone/iPod not necessary. Is anybody listening to me.
Rocky Start to Winter Olympics: HuffPo gives you more than you want to know about this non-event.
Malware for the Interested: If you are one of the few that care about the Winter Olympics and go to Twitter to get some real time updates, you may infect your computer with malware instead. That’s what you get for swimming against the current.
Watch Winter Olympics 2010 online: Not that anyone wants to do this, but if you want t0 see your daughter, the curling champ, and can’t make it to Vancouver, this site has the low down on how to watch the events online.
Get on your knees and beg for some Busted Tees.
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