Fuck preparedness. You’re never going to be truly prepared when some random catastrophe strikes. It’s impossible. The canned food in the cellar ain’t gonna help. The weaponry hidden in the ceiling panels. The water purifier. The mystery tablets. Not going to do anything. The only thing you should always have on hand is a nice bottle of alcohol, so you can get drunk quickly and dance like a maniac. That’s the only real way to face insurmountable adversity. Like this is what Viggo should have done in The Road. Forget all the scrambling around and scrounging for food. Just break out that last bottle of bourbon and dance like a fool.
If this is your kind of Boy Scout preparation, then you probably need the In the Event of An Emergency Get Drunk Dance Like No One’s Watching T Shirt.
Snorg Tees knows the folly of trying to conquer unforeseen events. You just need to ride that shit out.
