I Don’t Exist Santa T Shirt from Better Than Pants

by on December 3, 2011

This is a terrible shirt. How can the designer of this I Don’t Exist Santa T Shirt live with herself? What about the children? What kind of existential questions is this thing gonna bring up their impressionable minds that aren’t ready for such mortal struggle.

Shame on Better Than Pants for putting this out into the world. No child needs to have their dreams ripped asunder like this. And don’t tell me responsible adults are going to be able to wear this shirt and hide it from the youth. They’ll get drunk at the Christmas party, the ugly sweater will come off, and this shirt will scream in the face of the daughter of the Vice President. Not pretty. Not festive. Sad. Sad. Sad. Bah humbug.

Just kidding…I’m all for brutalizing kids with the truth as early as possible. Gets them all toughened up for this long lonely ride.

Check out the best funny Christmas T Shirts this planet has ever seen.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Mike Parker December 5, 2011 at 9:46 am

Wait…Santa isn’t real? Oh man. That explains a ton.


joe December 5, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Quiet please children. Today’s lesson is Santa Clause. Here’s the equation:
Blind faith > Trust + Critical thinking
Okay, class dismissed. Tomorrow we’ll cover Religion, where we’ll introduce exponents.


Booker Addison December 7, 2011 at 11:13 pm

@joe – this is too deep for me and my readers. You need to take this stuff to a smart people’s website.


joe December 8, 2011 at 5:43 am

Ha ha, sorry for the geek-out. I think I’m spending too much time at Khan Academy. It was my clumsy way of saying I think Santa Clause should be the mascot for religion.


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