Start from the monkey. Become more upright. Pick up the first weapon (a jagged stone). Grow a mullet and make a spear. Cut your hair stand up straighter and develop gun technology. Finally, burn yourself to shit, have your arm hacked off, created an artificial respirator mask and a develop a leather (or is that vinyl) uniform, and, of course, master the greatest weapon ever invented, the light saber. Of course you have the Evolution of Evil T Shirt here and it is magnificent.
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I do not know who this dude is but he’s ’bout ready to chomp on an apple, and in my book that’s not evil at all. But, I guess if you think pieces of fruit are sentient beings or that apples have feelings or at least apple trees, then maybe the sentiment on this Not Evil Just Hungry T Shirt clashes with your eating ideology. Of course, you’re killing 100,000s of micro-organisms as you sit there mouth breathing and reading this with your lips moving.
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Just so you know 8008135 looks like boobies on a calculator on in the time machine control panel. Very funny. You have the Back to the Future DeLorean Time Machine and they’re punching in the numbers, except that instead of a normal destination date they punch in the old digital numbers boobies trick. That’s very nice and you know it, which is why you are so tempted to just say F It and by this Back to the 8008135 T Shirt despite what your mom, gramma, aunt, sister, and Ms. Fafenhooper, your English teacher, think.
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The Department of Justice Federal Bureau of Investigation has a message for you and they hope to keep you on the straight and narrow. Otherwise, if a critical mass of the nation becomes addicted to drugs, the United States goes down in flames. There is no way to police all of the mayhem that drug-fueled masses would produce.
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Those are some beasty sinewy werewolves howling at a blood red moon that looks somewhat like an organ from a mammal. Plus, you have a scary dead tree, vampire bats flying around, big sharp teeth, fiery red eyes, and menacing nostril steam, to make this one of the spookiest shirts I’ve ever seen. The 3 Werewolves T Shirt is especially insidious because it is mimicking the ubiquitous three wolves concept, which is such iconic imagery for togetherness, soulfulness, and metaphysical exploration. I mean that’s what I feel when I see those magnificent beasts howling at the full moon.
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I like calling a gun a boomstick, and I like that the S-Mart Sporting Goods Department has this very fine 12-gauge, Double Barrel, Walnut Stock, Cobalt Blue Steel with a hair trigger for the excellent price of $109.95. But, that’s not all. You also get the chainsaw for only $9.95 with a purchase of a Boomstick. You have to be crazy not to take advantage of that deal.
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