Best Halloween T Shirts

by on August 6, 2010

Brainsicle T Shirt

It’s not that you don’t want to go all out, but sometimes there comes a time in your life when the end of October rolls around and you’re short on time, money or inspiration to craft a worthy Halloween costume.

Or you have the costume but you have multiple events to hit during Halloween week and All Saints Day and Day of the Dead, and you can’t possibly dress up in the same costume for everything. Whatever the reason, you need to have a few Halloween t shirts in your arsenal, so you’ll be ready for any scary festivity the season brings to you.

Here’s a list of the top funny Halloween tees I’ve seen around the web. Hurry and get yourself a couple, so you’re ready for any spooky occasion.

Sweet Halloween T Shirt

Happy Brains T Shirt

Eternal Exercise Zombie T Shirt

Zombies and Halloween go together like Delonte West and LeBron’s mom. It’s a beautiful thing. Add the hilarious treadmill business and you have a winner.

333 Only Half Evil T Shirt

Hey…Halloween is for the kids, the candy, and the costumes. You have to tone it down. You can’t go full blown evil when you’re marching around with the kids on the dark, scary streets. Only half evil. Save full evil for Christmas or something.

This is My Costume Now Give Me My Damn Candy T Shirt

I love the assumption of ownership of the candy. Like here are the rules, I know you’re going to raise objections, but I’ve already hired a lawyer to go over the fine print and this is perfectly within the spirit of the Halloween rules and regulations. Now give me my damn candy.

Skull Me  T Shirt

Nothing better than 24 different skulls on a t-shirt. And, yes, they are all subtly different. I studied that thing for like 17 minutes.

Cheap Ass Halloween Costume Tshirt

Well that’s one way to look at it, but at least you put some thought into it, and burned some calories to find the shirt, pull out your wallet, and drop a few bucks. Better than finding that ratty blanket covering the wood pile, wrapping yourself in it and calling yourself a popcicle. That’s lame and cheap ass.

Skull and Crossbones (aka Stick Figures in Peril) Tshirt

Another very good image for this most ghoulish of holidays. Certainly sufficiently creepy, especially when you look close and notice the creepy stick figures all dying miserable deaths.

Strangers Have the Best Candy Tshirt

This is more a Public Service Announcement for kids to get out of their comfort zone and seek strangers for their candy needs, but it also works well as a reminder for Halloween. Go to the neighborhood that’s one social stratus or more above yours. You won’t know any of these rich folk, but they’ll have the best candy.

Zombie Flip T Shirt

This is certainly a novelty shirt. It says Ask Me About My Zombie Shirt on the front, then when they ask you about your zombie shirt you flip it over your head, and, magically, on the inside, there’s a scary, bloody, zombie face. That’s good times all night long.

This is My Costume, I’m a…Tshirt


I don’t if you want to bring a marker to the place you celebrate your devilish holiday, but if you do it will be really convenient for those that want to choose what you are. Now, if you have a sense of self-worth, you won’t let ’em. You’ll tell ’em. Could be a different story for each person you encounter, but it’s your story. Tell them right now. “You don’t know me!”

Spider Drawing Tshirt

Cute spider. Almost goofy happy, despite the fact he only has seven legs. Ouch. Definitely a nice addition to the Halloween festivity.

I’m Scary Enough Without a Costume Tshirt

Kind of funny, especially if you get this for a cute little kid that’s not scary at all. Or, if you smear makeup on like Leona Helmsley. Or, you wear big, fake Tony Robbins teeth.

You Can’t Scare Me I’m Drunk T Shirt

That ghost doesn’t have a chance versus six beers. There’s too much dulling of the senses. The initial fright isn’t there because stimulus of the senses is so much slower when drunk. By the time the drunkard figures out what’s going on the ghost has lost patience and is looking for a sober child to scare the piss out of.

Chocolate Melty Skull aka Bitter Teeth Tshirt


This just seemed appropriate. Skull and chocolate. Seems like the essence of Halloween…maybe even how your brain feels after 42 mini candy bars, smartees, butterscotch, and jujujelly stuff.

Moo-mmy T shirt

I know it’s a terrible pun, but it’s a cute cow all wrapped up, and what says Halloween more than that.

Office Chat Around the Blood Cooler Vampire T Shirt


This is all funny gruesome. These are probably talking about the big game or what a rip off their health insurance is. Whatever it is they’re talking about it’s a great shirt for fright night.

Just Give Me the Fucking Candy Tshirt

Straight to the point. Blunt. Horrible manners. It’s a trick and a treat. Totally Halloween.

Plain Clothes Cop Tshirt


Hey, this is just funny. It takes it one step beyond doing a shitty costume and having people ask you who you are, and you having to go through a long explanation and they just nod and go for another spiked pumpkin fall bomb.

Guess Who? Grim Reaper Tshirt


That young man looks so cozy in his favorite chair with a good book. And he seems genuinely happy to have this surprise. I think things go down hill from there.

Call the Surgeon T Shirt

Another piece of genius from Glennz Tees. You have to get this one for Halloween because it has three great qualities. One, it glows in the dark, so you won’t get run over. Safety first. Two, it’s funny because these stuck in this Xray are in the bodily vernacular. Adams apple. Broken heart. Butterflies in my stomach. And a couple I can’t figure out. Wishbone. Spur. String Cheese. Whatever. Those mystery ones will be good convo starters. Three, it’s a skeleton and that always plays well on Halloween!

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