February 2012

Of course Bacon is an element. It’s one of the fundamental building blocks of life. Everybody knows that. Pigs know that, which is why they happily give up their little piggy lives to make bacon for human consumption. It’s an honor to the swine to feed the master species.

Read more on Bacon Element T Shirt from Snorg Tees…

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Coffee is the great elixir. The benevolent drug. And that is why we have points, gamer style, applied to the beverage. +5 Wisdom because you are smarter when you drink coffee. The brain’s synapses are firing fast and hard. +9 Speed because everything you do and say is sped up by at least 35%…your mind and body is revving. +8 energy because you get up dead tired, drink that first cup and you’re ready to go, and if you start to lag in the afternoon, boom, cup a coffee and you’re back in the fast lane.

Read more on Wisdom, Speed, Energy Coffee T Shirt from Snorg Tees…

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This is a cute shirt from Snorg Tees. And, it’s true. Your mind has many spectacular untapped powers, including the ability to melt ice in a time delayed fashion. Some people think this I Can Melt Ice with My Mind It Just Takes a Few Minutes T Shirt is supposed to be funny, because of course the ice melts on its own in a few minues. But, this shirt actually was not meant to be funny.

Read more on I Can Melt Ice with My Mind It Just Takes a Few Minutes T Shirt from Snorg Tees…

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Is this a little dig at funny t shirts? Like hey I don’t need a shirt that has a funny, or offensive quip or a pop culture reference, because I’ve got personality without that. Plus, it’s an obtuse statement to have on a shirt, so you still get the benefit of starting up conversations, which I’m convinced is the main reason funny T Shirts exist.

Read more on I’ve Got All the Personality I Need Right Here T Shirt from T Shirt Hell…

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I guess this is kind of a BJ t shirt. And, it’s murky enough to open it up for discussion. What does this mean exactly? If you request felatio are you initiating by gently pushing the giver’s head toward your lap? Or like this I Push My Own Head Down T Shirt, do you what for the giver to get down there under their own power. I feel like you can either directly ask for the service or you can sort of inquire about it happening with a little nudge.

Read more on I Push My Own Head Down T Shirt from T Shirt Hell…

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This is T Shirt Hell putting out this shirt, so obviously it’s going to be contreversial, especially when you say something like this Christians are Assholes T shirt. I would say the Christians or any devout religious folks that try to foist their beliefs on others or make them a matter of public policy are assholes, but those God-fearing folk that have a stable morality and try to treat people as Jesus would are probably pretty good people. Unfortunately, I’m not sure what the percentage of Christians are not compelled to leave the witnessing and zealotry behind. That’s why shirts like this pop up.

Read more on Christian Bale Christian Slater Christians Are Assholes T Shirt from T Shirt Hell…

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We have some sort of scy-fy intrigue going on. At first you think this is an alien talking with candor, then all of a sudden you discover it as an Earthling visiting another planet, and talking to an alien he doesn’t particularly like. I guess you could also make a case for this being an everyday person on Earth just kind of hating on everybody that reads her shirt, which is quite possible.

Read more on On My Planet You’d Be Considered An Asshole My Planet is Earth T Shirt from T Shirt Hell…

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This just about sums it up for me. Can anyone even believe what’s going on with the Republican primaries. Ridiculous. Newt Gingrich. Mitt Romney. Paul Santorum. That reminds me of the beautiful campaign Dan Savage waged against Santorum, when the politician was fighting for some douchey anti-gay bullshit. He got his last name to be associated with the following definition:

Read more on I’m Voting For Middle Finger T Shirt from T Shirt Hell…

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Here’s one to wear but only if you’re gorgeous or hideous. Nothing in between. If you’re average looking people will just shake their head and think you’re delusional. If your gorgeous then people will just have to concede that yes you’re hot, and, in fact, just a little hotter than themselves.

Read more on 98.7 Just a Little Hotter Than You T Shirt from T Shirt Hell…

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This is a pretty funny shirt. Simple concept but executed perfectly. You have a great thermometer with a perfect blue. Where this around and get into conversation about being just a little cooler than everybody you meet. What you really should do is feel people’s foreheads and say…”nope…no temperature. You’re 98.6 degrees.

Read more on 98.5 Degrees Just a Little Cooler Than You T Shirt from T Shirt Hell…

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Very nice commentary on the gay marriage debate. If you say God hates gays that’s about as wise as saying what this God Hates Chimps Who Love Dolphins T Shirt. In other words, it’s a completely ridiculous thing to say, and you should stop saying it, and you should let anybody marry whoever they want as long as they are two consenting adults.

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Apparently this chick is an awesome singer and has had a ton of buzz for a year or two. I have never heard her. I did see that that freaky, white-haired simian Karl Lagerfeld called her fat, which is true but isn’t very nice. He tried to make nice by saying, “but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice.” Oops. A little late for the pleasantries you shallow freak. At 78 you really probably shouldn’t give a shit about any of that any more. link:

Read more on I Dumped Adele T Shirt from T Shirt Hell…

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