July 2011

I like this one. Dude flipped on the light switch. He’s out of control. That light switch hasn’t been flipped except for that horrid accident like 27 years ago. You know the one were the kid had to drowned in the pond because they took sins like this a little more serious back in the day. Wasn’t even really the kid’s fault. He had to take a leak in the middle of the night and was feeling his way around the walls (okay, he was drunk, which was why he was struggling to navigate in the dark…nobody knew that bit of the story), and he accidently flipped the switch. Bad timing. His dad was up, saw the light, was shocked for two seconds then did what he had to do in front of God and the rest of the community. Sad story.

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I kind of hate the way Yoda talks. It’s pretty damn annoying. Is there one single person on the planet that agrees with me on this. Or, are you all so beholden to the magnificence of the Star Wars series that you can’t look critically at any of the individual pieces that make up the saga. Not saying I wouldn’t grab five or six of these My Yoda Shirt This Is T Shirts, because it’s a funny design no doubt.

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Have you seen Deliverance. I don’t think I ever have if you can believe that. I’ve seen clips and pieces and bits, but I don’t think I have ever sat down and watched the entire thing. Still, it has a life of it’s own in my brain, because of the powerful scenes that have pervaded the cosmic consciousness. Banjos, canoes, rivers, the boonies and anal raping have never had the same perception since this movie came out.

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In case you’re having a hard time reading the words on this Honey Badger Definition T Shirt in the thumbnail image I’m going to do my good deed for the day and transcribe it right now:

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Enjoy Bacon T Shirt

by on July 1, 2011

Very simple shirt with a very simple message. Sometimes we can make life too complicated. That’s why it helps to take a step back, analyze what’s working and what’s not. Trim the fat and move on to a more enjoyable existence. To remember this life lesson, I suggest you quickly pull out your wallet and purchase the Enjoy Bacon T Shirt.

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Of course, if you’re a fan of the movie Uncle Buck or the late great comedy actor John Candy, you will enjoy the Hi I’m Buck Melanoma Molly Russell’s Wart T shirt, because it will bring back all of the special memories you had watching the movie. Perhaps you’re old enough to have watched it in the theater in 1989, or maybe you picked it up later and watched it on your couch with microwave popcorn and cookies and cream ice cream. Whatever, if you have feelings for the film, you’ll want to own the shirt. That’s a fact.

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Can you imagine having gone to a school as magnificent and dangerous and exhilarating as Hogwarts. Me neither. And, basically, that’s because I’m an earthbound muggle with no hope of performing any magic. However, I don’t want to rain on your magical parade. If you can convince yourself that you’re a wizard and magical that’s half the battle. The other half is wearing the Hogwarts Alumni T Shirt. Basically, when you wear the shirt you’ll be levitating your guinea pig, and knocking that ugly floor lamp across the room. Awesome!

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