June 2011

Better get in on the action with the Busted Tees $10 Clearance Sale. I count 99 shirts on sale at this ridiculously low price, and these are some of my favorite designs. They’re not saying when this sale will be over, so you should pounce on it quick. Ready go.

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Tracy Morgan playing Tracy Jordan in the movie plastered on this Tracy Jordan is Who Dat Ninja T shirt. Again, Tracy Morgan is a bit of a polarizing figure right now, so I’m throwing these Tracy Jordan shirts out there to take the temperature of the populace. It’s important you know. The future of comedy entertainment hinges on what you think.

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Apparently this dude does a little bit of everything at least according to this Dr. Leo Spaceman T Shirt. In case you can’t read the text on the shirt here’s what it says:

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What does this mean? Well, apparently it has to do with Tracy Morgan, who plays Tracy Jordan on 30 Rock. And, right now, Tracy Morgan is in some hot water because he spouted off some anti-gay nonsense. So, you can either get this TGS with Tracy Jordan t Shirt because you love the show no matter what stupid shit comes out of the mouth of one of its actors. Or you buy it so you can burn it to show your solidarity with the gay community.

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If I watched TV I might know something about 30 Rock and the fake show inside the show called MILF Island. I have a real short clip for you below and it looks pretty funny.

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In case you need to refer to the authoritative source, here’s a website with all the Zombieland rules, including, of course, #32. Now, the beauty of this Rule #32 Enjoy the Little Things T Shirt is that it features a partial twinky, and this isn’t a half-eaten twinky, this is a neatly cut twinky, like a couple of buds, like Jesse “Facebook” Eisenberg and Woody “Cheers” Harrelson decided to split it, got out a ruler and deliberately sliced impossibly even sections.

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Wordplay. Wordplay. And meme. Damn. This thing has everything you need and they do it in three words. Spectacular use of the language. I’m hugely impressed with the Zombie Eat Flesh T Shirt, as it twists the Subway brand and slogan to the deadside. FYI – the real slogan is “Eat Fresh.” Get it?

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Hey now. Sometimes we forget that even the evil empire’s have human stories. Families. Friends. Pets. You know…the whole gamut. So, the next time you’re cheering your ass off for the “hero” to blow up the bad guys and save the day, well just think about this Stormtrooper shedding a tear, and just have a moment in their hard white uniform. Maybe some growth will happen, and that’s a really good and important thing, because when you die the soil the worms turn you into will be more fertile.

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So this Omni Consumer Products T Shirt really speaks to me on a deep level, because the 80s were my glory days. Now, I just live in my mother’s basement. Well, I lived in my mother’s house, but I had an actual room in the house so that was the biggest difference between my life then and my life now. That, and the fact, that there were some classic movies being pumped out of Hollywood, like, for instance, Robocop. Actually, there are classic movies being pumped out now, but they’re not 80s movies if you know what I’m saying.

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This pirate actually has a blouse that is not plastered with Ironic Witticisms, so if we assume he’s talkin’ then this Not All of My Garments Contain Ironic Witticisms T Shirt speaks great truth. What’s all meta about this shirt from Busted Tees is that this shirt happens to feature an ironic witticism, which is what makes it so deep and intriguing and full of life force.

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Isn’t this how it always is? Someone needs service now, because they have a thing…they’re late…they gotta go. But, they cannot be satisfied. Nothing is good enough and it seems like they just make things up not to be happy about. I have been in retail customer service in my life and there are more of these type of people than you want to believe. That’s why this I’m Extremely Picky and Desperate T Shirt is awesome.

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This is sadly what 67% of the United States is saying as they tuck in for the night. But, they’ll soon start to worry when the entire thing goes into the shitter and only the top 1% in accumulated wealth can maintain the lifestyle. It’s going to get ugly, and there’s not a hell of a lot you can do about it at this point, so why not ignore it and get a good night’s sleep. You’ll need the energy for food foraging.

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