May 2011

It’s the beginning stages of the classic food fight in Animal House, and, of course, Blutarsky is in the middle of it. That boy is a P-I-G Pig T Shirt will trigger a remembrance of this lovely scene in anyone that is anybody. And, that my friend is how you get your network started. Soon you’ll be repeated truth, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. And you’ll be smiling because you’ll be in a large house with an expensive vehicle and a trophy wife, and a cushy job, and it will all be because you wore this shirt around town for a few years.

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“They’re going to nail us no matter what we do so we might as well have a good time.” Toga Toga Toga. This is the alternative to actually wearing a toga around. Sometimes those things can be a big inconvenient. Don’t get me wrong, I highly recommed that you where a sheet fashioned into an article of clothing most days, but sometimes you just need to go with some modern garb, and for those rare occassions I would suggest this Toga Toga Toga T Shirt.

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Thor T Shirts are hot now that the movie is out in theaters. Not necessarily funny shirts on the surface, but Molly Lambert writes about the movie in her summer movies article for the new ESPN-related website, Grantland, with a good bit of humor.

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“Thank you sir may I have another.” Classic scene of fraternity hazing where the Pledges are bending over in their underwear while a fraternity member smacks them with a paddle. Kevin Bacon does a great job taking it in the ass over and over. Probably why he’s had such a long and lusterous career.

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That text on that shirt got shrunk down pretty small in that image, so I’m going to transcribe it for you right now. Animal House – Nothing’s over until we say it’s over. Was it over when the Germans bombed pearl harbor. – Bluto Blutarsky…You see this is funny because that’s incorrect history. The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, but it doesn’t really matter because he’s so passionate with his speech and the fact that he refuses to admit defeat. That’s why TV Store Online has produced a great shirt right here. Do you agree? Is John Belushi outstanding in this movie. I say Yes and yes, and so should you, or else you’ll have to have a pretty compelling reason, and you’ll have to share piece of rhetorical brilliance in the comments for all to see.

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Awesome movie. John Belushi as John “Bluto” Blutarsky is magical. The rag tag groups get shit on but they overcome and get their revenge. There’s drinking and babes and sensitive folk singer instruments being crushed. It’s a thing of beauty and that’s why you should consider getting this Delta House T Shirt because you support the outcasts and funloving men and women at your college, at your job, in your church, at your schools, in your neighborhood, and the Odd Fellows Hall, in your Freemason’s club. Celebrate it!

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Sometimes you want the classic College t shirt from Animal House, but sometimes you want to get more specific, which is why this Faber College Phys. Ed 1963 t shirt exists. It’s there for you to have choice. To make up your own mind about what sort of message you want to bring to the general public as you sit in your office or walk down the street or eat alone in a restaurant serving Chinese cuisine and cheeseburgers.

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It’s hard to figure out why anybody in their right minds would want to wear this Omega House T Shirt. I mean they are the enemy of the Delta House. They have the creepy hazing rituals, and the snooty attitudes. Why would you wear this shirt. Actually the only reason I can see that you would by it, is to take it off in a public place and destroy it either by burning or tearing to shreds. That kind of demonstration really fires people up. They think you’re one with the enemy at first, but then you surprise them with your radical actions and they love you doubly because you have made a public mockery of the Omega House.

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No one can really tell if this is Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dum, except for maybe the artist who conceived the design, but one thing is for certain. He isn’t happy and isn’t that the best state of this dude to capture for a t shirt. I think so, and that’s why I’m convinced that anybody that likes Alice in Wonderland should get this Tweedle Dee Tweedle Dum T Shirt.

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When some kid sees you wearing this shirt, then excepts candy from a stranger, then gets fat and dies of heart disease before his time, I hope you’re happy with yourself and your “humor.” This Strangers Are Awesome T Shirt is an awful message and you should never wear it, but if you absolutely have to to be the big man of campus (bmoc), then make sure no kids are around to get the wrong idea.

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What is going on with this dude. He’s trying way too hard to prove that he loves you while covering up some horrid environmental atrocity that Globo Chem is pulling off. Of course, this Take it From Me I Love You Pit Pat T Shirt is referencing Mr. Show, which is a television program that I watched religiously. Actually, that’s not true because my mom doesn’t let me watch TV. Anyway, Pit Pat is just a little off. The beer gut is creepy instead of cute and cuddly like the Hamburger Helper Hand or Pilsbury Dough Boy. And his messaging sounds like it was written by someone that writes in English as a second language.

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This is the anti-mullet t shirt, and if you don’t like anti-mullet sentiment you can go to hell. Just kidding. Mullets are cool to look at and laugh at. Actually, I had a minor one in the 80s (yeah, I’m old…so…). This dude on the Business in the Front Business in the Back T Shirt is very serious minded and wants to take his career to the next level, so he got a sensible hair cut, some business casual attire and went to work. And, there he will stay for 45 years, toiling away with little recognition, little humor and little to know fun. But, the bills are paid, the kids are growing up healthy, and the suburban neighbors accept him as long as he keeps his lawn neatly trimmed.

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