May 2011

No idea what this means, and God that duck with the tear drop is super, super sad. Why do you want to wear a Poor Little Duck T Shirt? I’ll tell you why. Because it is super random and kind of cute and is a spectacular conversation starter. Want to get in somebody’s pants? Move close enough, so they can see the shirt and let it work its magic, trigger all sorts of emotions. Follow up and sincerely ask the tee means to them.

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I don’t know how many yachts are hanging around Havana, but the few that are sure have passengers that know how to have a good time. Rum. cigars. And Cuban music. What more do you want? Plus, as a Communist country, there’s probably a great deal of disapproval for extravagant lifestyle toys like a floating paradise.

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Hello Fresco is a fresh new shirt shop based somewhere on Earth. They tout their clean, positive designs lacking “skulls, thunderbolts, and general weird stuff.” They purposefully kept the designs light and joyous, which is an interesting twist on the regular t shirt fare. They also only release two tees a month, because sometimes less is more. Too much choice can be debilitating. You can crumble under the pressure of making the right decision. You can regret making the wrong purchase and have buyer’s remorse.

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Got a little wordplay with rude appliances that are having a bit of a tiff. Or maybe they’re just stating the obvious about each other. The vacuum knows what the fan does and the fan knows what the vacuum does. Maybe it’s you that adds the extra oomph that makes it seem like they’re really going at it. Maybe it’s you that assumes that maybe there’s sexual innuendo on this You Suck Blow Me T Shirt.

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Obviously, this is in reference to Scorpion fighting in the video game Mortal Kombat saying “Get Over Here” when he’s about to finish someone off. That’s why this is funny. 604 Republic has added the “on” so it sounds a little Southern, then goes ahead and makes Scorpion a proprietor of BBQ cuisine. You know, you can’t have a sports career forever, so maybe he retired, hung on to the outfit, and decided to make a buck or two off his good warrior name.

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This is one of those optical illusions. People are going to pass by you on the street, see that animal clawing at your chest and jump back in fright, thinking that you’re getting ripped to pieces by a mini black and white tiger. This is priceless entertainment, which is why I recommend that you buy this Tiger Uppercut T Shirt no matter how much 604 Republic sells it for.

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This is a very cool design. Basically, staring down the barrel of a shot gun, and the tilt of the head by the man with the cowboy hat is evidence that he knows how to use that weapon. So, hopefully, it’s all a little misunderstanding and will be cleared up before your picking shot out of your ass.

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Libre means free in Spanish, but I don’t think that’s what Palmer Cash is getting at with this tee. I think they’re really conjuring up the magic of the Cuba Libre drink, which is, of course, rum and Coke. This Libre T Shirt may also be a shout out to a nice little island paradise that has many great things: music, cigars, rum, and many sucky things: Guantanamo Bay, Fidel Castros’ corpse.

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I have no idea what this means, but oh do I wish it was true, especially slumming it here in Milwaukee where there’s been 1 upper-70s day since Winter, and we’re rolling with a cold, wet, windy low-40s week.

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Apres Ski T Shirt

by on May 18, 2011

Not everybody is going to comprehend the main message of this shirt, because it is subtle. Basically, mustaches are power, especially when you’re talking about sexual attraction. The funny thing about the guy on the Apres Ski T Shirt is that this dude doesn’t even know how to ski. He just groomed his mustache, combed his hair, put on some cologne, and grabbed some skis, and the hottest girls flocked to him.

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There’s a shark coming out of the book, which makes this Reading is Jawesome T Shirt spectacular and an excellent message for the kids. Unless they’re complete tards and think that all books are pop ups with sharks, then they’ll just be disappointed when they get their hands on a Roald Dahl book and there are no pop up sharks. Then they’ll feel like they’ve been deceived, crusade against reading, and never crack a book open again.

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The rest of this Star Ewok Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires T Shirt says “Don’t create funeral pyres in the woods. Rebel Alliance Press. Paid for by the Endor Department of Parks and Recreation.”

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