May 2011

I like the mix of pens you have in in the pocket protector. Standard red and blue, but then you also have maybe a black pen with a finer point, and then of course you have one of those multicolored pens, which have always been my favorite. All the excellent options to choose from. Sometimes, actually, it’s almost paralyzing. You’re on the phone and somebody starts saying something that really should be written down but you can’t decide which color to do it in and eventually you end up losing your job, your house, your car and your family because of it. That’s the only bummer about the multi-colored pens.

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How do you even begin to talk about this weirdo shirt. Is that really duct tape or is it fabric made to look like duct tape that has been placed on a lined shirt to look like an argyle pattern. Do you have any interest in this whacky Duct Tape Argyle T Shirt? Next you’re going to have Headline Shirts sister company Headline Socks doing the same thing with woolies to wear on your feet. And then where are we? Nowhere? Utter confusion? Bliss? Terror? I don’t even know. I feel like I’ve lost all bearings and my moral compass after looking at this tee on the Internet.

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Another OBL offering here. This one a little more direct in noting that he is no longer the hide and seek champion because he has a hole in his head. Using the hide & seek story kind of softens the ugly fact that this dude got shot in the head by Navy Seals in retaliation for masterminding the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers and the Pentagon, which is kind of heavy stuff if you think about it too long.

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You have to love Alice in Wonderland and further you must love the Mad Hatter. So, it stands to reason that you would love this Mad Hatter T Shirt with a fervor saved for energy drinks and free iPod games. Then there’s the thing of Johnny Deep, the dreamboat, playing the Mad Hatter in the Tim Burton’s version of Alice in Wonderland and you probably feel an unnatural compulsion to get this tee.

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It’s not a t shirt, but I’m calling attention to it anyway, because it’s fabulous. Sex Panther Cologne. For reals. You can buy a bottle. Receive the bottle. Tip the bottle. Dab the cologne on your neck and you have a 60% chance of it working every time…and by working, of course, I mean getting laid by your choice of hot vixens, who can’t keep their ridiculously manicured hands off of you.

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All great runs must come to an end, and Bin Laden had a spectacular run as the best hide and seek player in the world for nearly 10 years. It takes a lot of skill, luck and cooperation to make something like that happen, and he couldn’t have done it alone. Of course, the United States may like to know who some of his teammates were giving asylum and assistance to public enemy #1. Nevertheless, props to OBL for his stealth, but good riddance.

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Well, he was in caves, and traveling by donkey with dialysis machines in tow. He leaved in hovels, lean tos, shacks, and blasted out homes…then some how he found his way to a compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, which happens to be near a military installation. How does that happen without a little looking the other way? Not sure and I’m guessing Pakistan is thinking up answers real quick right now to those questions. Anyway, I guess we know where Bin Laden is now. Right? Swimmin’ with the fishes.

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Somebody had to go there. I mean it was a ripe fruit for the picking. And, I’m proud to say that Donkey Ts did it and they did it well. You know how awesome Chuck Norris is, and you know how stealthy he can be when he breaks in to mansions in Abbottabad, Pakistan. So, celebrate the greatest American to have ever walked the Earth (no really he’s walked every square foot of the Earth), and just one of his thousands of remarkable deeds by purchasing and wearing often the Chuck Norris Killed Bin Laden T Shirt.

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What is this 362,435,601 number. I mean I know what it is…362 million plus, but is that the population of the United States? I’m looking at Google and it says 307,006,550, but I guess that’s in the same ballpark. Facebook actually probably has a page like this with 100s of 1000s of likes, but I’ve already done enough Internet research for one shirt, so you’re going to have to find that one out on your own.

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It’s weird to root for someone to die, but this Osama Bin Laden dude has been a pain in the ass of the United States and many around the world for many, many years. He was a bit of a sociopath and a menace to society, so it’s good to hear he’s gone.

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Hey, did you know that Osama Bin Laden was killed by US Navy Seals in Abbottabad, Pakistan. Well, I’m sure Tshirt Groove is always where you come for the latest breaking news. I just wanted to let you in on that little tid bit. Oh, and since the killing, funny Osama Bin Laden T Shirts have been popping up across the Web. I went out and found them and put them together on one page for your singular convenience. You’re welcome.

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DesaparecidoNever you mind that it very well could be a ruse just to distract the sheeple from the shoddy birth certificate forgery, and the pending implosion of the economy thanks to that bullshit Harvard Quantitative Easing theory (we’ll see what easing looks like when rudimentary math catches up with the printing press). When it has been reported that Osama Bin Laden has been killed by United States special forces. Um, that’s newsworthy and it certainly triggers (no pun intended…well maybe a little bit) a nice little run of funny Bin Laden is dead t shirts.

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